The real words going through moparhoLICK's mind when he hears "Take Me out To The Ballgame"
 

mopey goes out to the truckstop
he goes there to chase men
buy him some condoms and vaseline
then watch him slurp,
he will never wean

'cuz its root, root, root for some gayness
his tendencies are to blame

and its one, two, three truckers' wangs
in his truckstop game