What Kind of Sex Are You Having?

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:

Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life? Oh, nothing special. I'm
having Social Security sex. Social Security sex? Yeah, you know: I get a
little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this
ear-splitting yell. My dear, the shrink said, that's completely natural. I
don't see what the problem is. The problem is, she complained, It wakes me
up!

QUIET SEX:

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, How come you never tell me when you
have
an orgasm? She glanced at him casually and replied, You're never home!

CONFOUNDED SEX:

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn
from his! body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him
back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since
it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for
small, $6,500 for medium, $14,000 for large." The man was sure he would
want
a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife
before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the
man looking dejected. Well, what have the two of you decided? asked the
doctor. The man answered, She'd rather remodel the kitchen.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'. Yeah," she replies, When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'He! re Lies My Husband -
Stiff At Last'.

WOMEN'S HUMOR:

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, This will make you
happy tonight. He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

THE ULTIMATE SEX:

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world. The woman says, I'll miss you.

Definition of the SuperBowl
If 10,000 CB'er's are on the SuperBowl
then only 1000 can be heard some of the times
& only 100 can be heard most of the times
& only 10 can be heard all the time
This is a great example why the bowl is not for the weak!