an oldie but goodie
 

I found this spinning around on my hard drive:
(and it's still true today)

Subject: (no subject)
Date: Sat, 7 Sep 2002 17:32:45 +0000 (UTC)
From: Anonymous User
Organization:
Newsgroups: rec.radio.cb

Subject: Dougs Radio and Usenet Pledge for AKC members

I disburse obscenity with redundant banality. Emails I have plenty of,
authentic and phantom both.
I manage this well, sometimes crossposting my mundane matter to several
newsgroups to loathe.
I want and wish only to take your band-width with my helpless and impotent
rants,
while you are stuck holding the bill by downloading my garbage,
you see, its all in my plans.
My foes are many, and none would be blamed or held accountable if they were
to crack my skull,
after all the threats of violence I have made against you, but they were
never dull.
I cant stand to lose an argument or even a debate,
even though I am quite used to it and always filled with hate.
Valid points when called to my attention are
are so often redirected, this prevents the world you see, from seeing me
corrected.
My education may be ok, even somewhat impressive,
but it consists of only things I see,
I cant always cope with reality.
I discuss only that which can feed my
wounded ego, to go above and beyond, I just may strain and blow.
The bile I project forth is funny, under the guise of sometimes-assistance,
and all are well aware, what really gets me mad, is myself-imposed
impotence.
If I were to gain a life as most suggest, I wouldnt be here daily, putting
myself to the test.
If only dad werent an abusive drunk, I could have been a smarter lunk.
If only I knew how to cope I wouldnt be such a dope.
If only I wasnt such a coward, I may have a lover by a name other than
Howard.
If only I really liked myself and didnt slash my wrists, I might even have
been successful and found everlasting bliss.
If I could learn to hold my tongue or become a bit more grammatical,
I wouldnt come across as such an ash-hole fanatical
who is always problematical.
If only I could learn to hold an intelligent debate, would I still be a
pussy behind a keyboard, that all have learned to hate?
If only you could understand what caused me to be this mess, my secrets they
run very deep, to the point I wear a dress.
I dont mind being a cbers pet, normal people dont always sit around, always
on the internet.

Scott in Baltimore wrote:
I found this spinning around on my hard drive:
(and it's still true today)

Subject: (no subject)
Date: Sat, 7 Sep 2002 17:32:45 +0000 (UTC)
From: Anonymous User
Organization:
Newsgroups: rec.radio.cb

Subject: Dougs Radio and Usenet Pledge for AKC members

I dont mind being a cbers pet, normal people dont always sit around,
always on the internet.

Sit boo boo.

Still true today is Scottiekins trips to the reservoir to find
boyfriends.