OT HUMOR: signs you were born yesterday
 

1. Vacuum tubes are ancient.
2. Incentive licensing is ancient.
3. What in the world did Oldsmobile stand for?
4. GM executives have always had IQs under 50.
5. You think a manual choke is strangulation, not something that
you're supposed to adjust when you start a car.
6. There have always been Interstate highways.
7. You can't remember the Vietnam War.
8. Neither you nor any of your peers built crystal radios in your
youths.
9. I thought the dangers of smoking have always been well-known.
10. Gasoline has always been unleaded.
11. You don't remember 8-tracks. (Thank goodness my family never had
one.)
12. Cassette tapes have always been around.
13. There have always been FM radio stations.
14. Studebakers have always been antique cars.
15. Why did people buy cars with a padded vinyl roof? They looked
tacky, and they peeled like crazy after just a few short years.
16. Chicago's stockyards have always been history, not open for
business.
17. Chicago's Mayor Richard J. Daley has always been dead.
18. "Saturday Night Live" has always been around. And taped, not
live.
19. June Allyson is the Depends Undergarment lady, not a movie star.
20. "The Tonight Show" has always been with Jay Leno or Johnny
Carson.
21. Michael Jackson has always been at least 25 years old. The
Jackson 5 is ancient history.
22. Janet Jackson is the pop singer who sang "Nasty Boys", not the
little girl in "Good Times".
23. Bob Dole was always old.
24. "Colored" and "white" drinking fountains and rest rooms are as
ancient as the Spanish Inquisition. (Thank goodness.)
25. The KKK has always been a racist fringe group, not a mainstream
organization like the Rotary Club. (Thank goodness.)
26. McDonald's, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Cholesterol have
always been around.
27. There have always been James Bond movies.
28. You never had to wait in long lines at the gas pump.
29. Treasury Bills have never yielded more than about 6%.
30. Inflation has always been below 4%.
31. The Dow Jones Industrials Average has always been at least 3000.
32. When _Business Week_ magazine ran its famous cover story "The
Death of Equities" in 1979, you were too busy watching Sesame Street
to buy stocks. :(
33. Financial advisors have ALWAYS been bullish on stocks.
34. Gold has always been a crummy investment.
35. The stock market has always been a great investment.
36. You learned about how banks work as a result of the S&L bailout.
(Thank goodness this wasn't from direct experience.)
37. Ronald Reagan was always a Republican.
38. You can't name a single movie that Ronald Reagan was in.
39. George Bush Senior has always been against abortion and for
supply-side economics.
40. Sirens have always been used to warn of tornadoes, not air raids.

Jason Hsu, AG4DG
usenet AAAATTTT jasonhsu.com