Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Don't get mad Mike, just play en wit ya.
Have a nice weekend.

Drifter...




A small zoo in West Canada obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat.

To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Mikie II, a
redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Mikie II, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Mikie II was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?

Mikie II showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

'First', Mikie II said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt.'
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

'Third', he said, 'you can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.

'Fourth', Mikie II said, 'I want all the children raised Southern
Canadian Baptist.
Once again it was agreed.

'And last,' Mikie II said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00



--

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:
Don't get mad Mike, just play en wit ya.
Have a nice weekend.

Drifter...




A small zoo in West Canada obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat.

To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Mikie II, a
redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Mikie II, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Mikie II was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?

Mikie II showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

'First', Mikie II said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt.'
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

'Third', he said, 'you can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.

'Fourth', Mikie II said, 'I want all the children raised Southern
Canadian Baptist.
Once again it was agreed.

'And last,' Mikie II said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00





ROFLMAO!

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:

Don't get mad Mike, just play en wit ya.
Have a nice weekend.

'And last,' Mikie II said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00

I can't argue with the truth. A correction has to be made, however. The
children were raised Episcopalian. Those Southern Baptists are almost as
weird as the Mormons.


mike


--
Due to the insane amount of spam and garbage,
this filter blocks all postings with a Gmail,
Google Mail, Google Groups or HOTMAIL address.
It also filters everything from a .cn server.

http://improve-usenet.org/

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:

Don't get mad Mike, just play en wit ya.
Have a nice weekend.

Drifter...

A small zoo in West Canada obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat.

To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Mikie II, a
redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Mikie II, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Mikie II was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?

Mikie II showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

'First', Mikie II said, 'I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.' The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

'Second', he said, 'She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt.'
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

'Third', he said, 'you can't never tell no one about this.' The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.

'Fourth', Mikie II said, 'I want all the children raised Southern
Canadian Baptist.
Once again it was agreed.

'And last,' Mikie II said, 'I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00

I think it'd take the idiot a lot longer than a week, as I understand he's not
working that shine box biz to its full potential, but, with the incentive of
having sex with a gorilla, he may get moving rather quickly.

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

D Peter Maus wrote:

ROFLMAO!

The joke was actually funnier twenty years ago. It was published in a
'biker' magazine, with a 'tough guy' being the volunteer.


mike


--
Due to the insane amount of spam and garbage,
this filter blocks all postings with a Gmail,
Google Mail, Google Groups or HOTMAIL address.
It also filters everything from a .cn server.

http://improve-usenet.org/

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

dxAcehole, America's Finest, wrote:

I think it'd take the idiot a lot longer than a week, as I understand he's not
working that shine box biz to its full potential, but, with the incentive of
having sex with a gorilla, he may get moving rather quickly.


Were you involved in that homosexual love triangle murder? How did you
escape prosecution? Did they miss your fingerprints on the victim's ass?
Do the guys in your little Militia know the full extent of your hatred
for heterosexuality?



mike


--
Due to the insane amount of spam and garbage,
this filter blocks all postings with a Gmail,
Google Mail, Google Groups or HOTMAIL address.
It also filters everything from a .cn server.

http://improve-usenet.org/

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

m II wrote:
D Peter Maus wrote:

ROFLMAO!

The joke was actually funnier twenty years ago. It was published in a
'biker' magazine, with a 'tough guy' being the volunteer.


mike


Cool Mike, you ride?
just trying to lighten things up around here.

BTW, my group is heading up the national middle-aged
Harley guys this weekend. about 15 miles from where i live,
at the county fair grounds. good time. mostly middle-aged
professionals. but, they ride hogs, so that makes them brothers.
we got maybe 25K bikes + up there.

Drifter...

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

m II wrote:

dxAcehole, America's Finest, wrote:

I think it'd take the idiot a lot longer than a week, as I understand he's not
working that shine box biz to its full potential, but, with the incentive of
having sex with a gorilla, he may get moving rather quickly.

Were you involved in that homosexual love triangle murder? How did you
escape prosecution? Did they miss your fingerprints on the victim's ass?
Do the guys in your little Militia know the full extent of your hatred
for heterosexuality?

Do the guys on the corner where you do that shine box biz know what a real dumbass
Canuck you are, boy?

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:

Cool Mike, you ride?
just trying to lighten things up around here.

BTW, my group is heading up the national middle-aged
Harley guys this weekend. about 15 miles from where i live,
at the county fair grounds. good time. mostly middle-aged
professionals. but, they ride hogs, so that makes them brothers.
we got maybe 25K bikes + up there.

I have a 1976 BMW twin. Peter Maus rides too.

There's project Sportster waiting for parts. I will be converting an
883 into a 1200 sometime this fall. I'm hoping for a bit over 80 HP
after pipes, cams and all the misc. stuff that goes into backyard hot
rodding. I sold the Triumph 1200 Daytona a few years ago. At 560 lbs,
that thing was getting to be too much of a handful in the parking lot.




mike

--
Due to the insane amount of spam and garbage,
this filter blocks all postings with a Gmail,
Google Mail, Google Groups or HOTMAIL address.
It also filters everything from a .cn server.

http://improve-usenet.org/

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

m II wrote:
Drifter wrote:

Cool Mike, you ride?
just trying to lighten things up around here.

BTW, my group is heading up the national middle-aged
Harley guys this weekend. about 15 miles from where i live,
at the county fair grounds. good time. mostly middle-aged
professionals. but, they ride hogs, so that makes them brothers.
we got maybe 25K bikes + up there.

I have a 1976 BMW twin. Peter Maus rides too.

There's project Sportster waiting for parts. I will be converting an
883 into a 1200 sometime this fall. I'm hoping for a bit over 80 HP
after pipes, cams and all the misc. stuff that goes into backyard hot
rodding. I sold the Triumph 1200 Daytona a few years ago. At 560 lbs,
that thing was getting to be too much of a handful in the parking lot.




mike

Hi Mike. 560 is not that bad. my first bike was a 47 tank-shifter
ex-cop bike. i had to move the throttle to the right. you may be
too young to remember. clutch on your left foot, shifter on the
left side of the tank. 3 forward, one reverse, means it could take
a sidecar for city use. i bought it from the local legion of
Pittsburgh, guy called Handlebar Hank. hell, i was 16, he looked
old back then, and he just died a few years ago. anyhow, we trucked
it home, and i got the plates and a legal title. it had that god-awful
wooden seat and a hard tail. it was my first bike, not the first one
i ever rode. i was 16, about 6 foot, and maybe 100 lbs. the bike weight
in over 1400 lbs. i did good on the local back roads, mostly dirt. but,
my first time on a main road, waiting for a red-light to change, my
left leg relaxed, and the clutch jumped, and the bike fell on my right
leg. took 2 friends to get it off me. hurt like hell. 2 weeks later,
i traded in on a 57 Glide/ bagger. only weighted a hair under 900.
right now i got a 04 fat-boy for local and an 07 road-king bagger for the
open road. both are under 700lbs. and, i still got the burn/ scars from
way back then. i had a few triumphs, and a norton, but never a bmw.
gotta be a hog.

Drifter...

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:
m II wrote:
Drifter wrote:

Cool Mike, you ride?
just trying to lighten things up around here.

BTW, my group is heading up the national middle-aged
Harley guys this weekend. about 15 miles from where i live,
at the county fair grounds. good time. mostly middle-aged
professionals. but, they ride hogs, so that makes them brothers.
we got maybe 25K bikes + up there.

I have a 1976 BMW twin. Peter Maus rides too.

There's project Sportster waiting for parts. I will be converting an
883 into a 1200 sometime this fall. I'm hoping for a bit over 80 HP
after pipes, cams and all the misc. stuff that goes into backyard hot
rodding. I sold the Triumph 1200 Daytona a few years ago. At 560 lbs,
that thing was getting to be too much of a handful in the parking lot.




mike

Hi Mike. 560 is not that bad. my first bike was a 47 tank-shifter
ex-cop bike. i had to move the throttle to the right. you may be
too young to remember. clutch on your left foot, shifter on the
left side of the tank. 3 forward, one reverse, means it could take
a sidecar for city use. i bought it from the local legion of
Pittsburgh, guy called Handlebar Hank. hell, i was 16, he looked
old back then, and he just died a few years ago. anyhow, we trucked
it home, and i got the plates and a legal title. it had that god-awful
wooden seat and a hard tail. it was my first bike, not the first one
i ever rode. i was 16, about 6 foot, and maybe 100 lbs. the bike weight
in over 1400 lbs. i did good on the local back roads, mostly dirt. but,
my first time on a main road, waiting for a red-light to change, my
left leg relaxed, and the clutch jumped, and the bike fell on my right
leg. took 2 friends to get it off me. hurt like hell. 2 weeks later,
i traded in on a 57 Glide/ bagger. only weighted a hair under 900.
right now i got a 04 fat-boy for local and an 07 road-king bagger for the
open road. both are under 700lbs. and, i still got the burn/ scars from
way back then. i had a few triumphs, and a norton, but never a bmw.
gotta be a hog.

Drifter...





I've been riding since I was 10. Everything from homemade
lawn-mower powered belt drives, through the Benilli 90, into Hondas
and damned near everything else, into BMW. I'm on my second LT, a 90
k110 LT with ABS. It's a sweet ride. And I've covered a lot of
ground on it. But it's always been a PITA in town, because it's so
top-heavy.

I looked at a Guzzi California cruiser, but they're talking like
it's not going to be made next year. So, on the way back from my
agent's in Milwaukeed two weeks ago, I stopped at House of Harley
Davidson. (You know, if you're gonna live close to Milwaukee--why
wouldn'tcha?)

He put me on a Softtail Heritage, and that was pretty cool. Not
exactly a good fit. So we moved up to a Road King. Perfect fit,
right amount of glitz, and it's still a motorcycle (unlike what BMW
has morphed into, today.) A bit heavy, but a dramatically lower
center of mass...and sweet on the open road.

So, that's the next toy. If I can crunch the numbers correctly, I
should be on it in September.

And with my MyFi, I can even have XM for long cruises.

If I could only figure out how to put a Becker 2340 on it for
SW.....

I'm working on it.


Any recommendations for accessories....ie, bars, saddles for two
up cruising?

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:
m II wrote:
Drifter wrote:

Cool Mike, you ride?
just trying to lighten things up around here.

BTW, my group is heading up the national middle-aged
Harley guys this weekend. about 15 miles from where i live,
at the county fair grounds. good time. mostly middle-aged
professionals. but, they ride hogs, so that makes them brothers.
we got maybe 25K bikes + up there.

I have a 1976 BMW twin. Peter Maus rides too.

There's project Sportster waiting for parts. I will be converting an
883 into a 1200 sometime this fall. I'm hoping for a bit over 80 HP
after pipes, cams and all the misc. stuff that goes into backyard hot
rodding. I sold the Triumph 1200 Daytona a few years ago. At 560 lbs,
that thing was getting to be too much of a handful in the parking lot.




mike

Hi Mike. 560 is not that bad. my first bike was a 47 tank-shifter
ex-cop bike. i had to move the throttle to the right. you may be
too young to remember. clutch on your left foot, shifter on the
left side of the tank. 3 forward, one reverse, means it could take
a sidecar for city use. i bought it from the local legion of
Pittsburgh, guy called Handlebar Hank. hell, i was 16, he looked
old back then, and he just died a few years ago. anyhow, we trucked
it home, and i got the plates and a legal title. it had that god-awful
wooden seat and a hard tail. it was my first bike, not the first one
i ever rode. i was 16, about 6 foot, and maybe 100 lbs. the bike weight
in over 1400 lbs. i did good on the local back roads, mostly dirt. but,
my first time on a main road, waiting for a red-light to change, my
left leg relaxed, and the clutch jumped, and the bike fell on my right
leg. took 2 friends to get it off me. hurt like hell. 2 weeks later,
i traded in on a 57 Glide/ bagger. only weighted a hair under 900.
right now i got a 04 fat-boy for local and an 07 road-king bagger for the
open road. both are under 700lbs. and, i still got the burn/ scars from
way back then. i had a few triumphs, and a norton, but never a bmw.
gotta be a hog.

I know those clutches. The friction plates on the foot pedal have to be
snug or it self engages. They should stay wherever you last left them. I
got sick of it, so I found a mousetrap mechanism and shorter lever for
the top of the tranny.

The weight of the Triumph was no concern at all when rolling, but with
cafe style clip on bars it got to be a handful in parking lots. it had a
relatively high seating position too. In town, my thumbs would fall
asleep after half an hour, because of my weight on them. After 70 MPH on
the highway things all made sense. No weight on the wrists.

My first big bike was a 1968 Norton. The later Commandos were far better
(excepting the '72). My favourite bike ever was the 1978 Ducati Super
Sport 900. Parts were very hard to get though and you couldn't drink
beer when setting the Desmo valve train.


mike



--
Due to the insane amount of spam and garbage,
this filter blocks all postings with a Gmail,
Google Mail, Google Groups or HOTMAIL address.
It also filters everything from a .cn server.

http://improve-usenet.org/

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

Drifter wrote:

my first bike was a 47 tank-shifter ex-cop bike. i had to move the
throttle to the right. you may be too young to remember. clutch on
your left foot, shifter on the left side of the tank. 3 forward, one
reverse...

Well, seeing as we are discussing old bikes...

Back when I was around 14 or so, I started out with a Whizzer motor
bike, then a Cushman Eagle scooter, then a 165cc Harley (2 cycle!), then
a 1947 Indian (for the princely sum of 25 bucks), rigid rear end, spring
fork, almost identical to the one you described above including the
killer ('backwards') throttle, but it had no reverse gear.

Then on to an American built 500 cc Indian vertical twin, a clone of the
Brit bikes of the era. Then several Hondas -- a 350, a couple of 450s
and finally a 750 K-1 4 cylinder.

Sold the '71 Honda to buy a '74 BMW 750. It was just "OK" and a drive
shaft instead of a chain was nice, but the Honda was as smooth as an
electric motor compared to the Bimmer. Wished I'd kept the Honda.

One of my friend's dad is getting up in years and has three Brit bikes
he may have to dispose of for health reasons... a BSA, Royal Enfield and
a Norton.

I've -almost- considered getting one of them and starting to ride again,
but for one deadly thing -- the cell phone. Bike riding always was a
little bit dangerous ("Gee, I didn't see the bike"), but the cell phone
has taken the risks to a whole new level. You end up dead and they are
sorry...and 'dead' is the wrong side of the equation to be on.

To those of you still riding: Be Careful!

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

m II wrote:
Drifter wrote:
m II wrote:
Drifter wrote: gotta be a hog.

I know those clutches. The friction plates on the foot pedal have to be
snug or it self engages. They should stay wherever you last left them. I
got sick of it, so I found a mousetrap mechanism and shorter lever for
the top of the tranny.

The weight of the Triumph was no concern at all when rolling, but with
cafe style clip on bars it got to be a handful in parking lots. it had a
relatively high seating position too. In town, my thumbs would fall
asleep after half an hour, because of my weight on them. After 70 MPH on
the highway things all made sense. No weight on the wrists.

My first big bike was a 1968 Norton. The later Commandos were far better
(excepting the '72). My favourite bike ever was the 1978 Ducati Super
Sport 900. Parts were very hard to get though and you couldn't drink
beer when setting the Desmo valve train.


mike



my Snorton Norton was the com-S. man, that bike was a hand full.
put you on your ass real fast. i was coming out of the service in
72 and got it through the post exchange. it was home waiting for me.
sweet bike, but way to much power for around town. i'm a cruiser
type of guy. the lucus electrics were real Brit. but, it didn't
leak oil like the 650 Bonnie. only rice burner i ever owned was
the first 4 banger. i can't remember, but i think it was a 750.
didn't keep it long. always back to the HD.

Drifter...

Here ya go Mike, something to make ya smile.
 

D Peter Maus wrote:
Drifter wrote:
m II wrote:
Drifter wrote:






I've been riding since I was 10. Everything from homemade lawn-mower
powered belt drives, through the Benilli 90, into Hondas and damned near
everything else, into BMW. I'm on my second LT, a 90 k110 LT with ABS.
It's a sweet ride. And I've covered a lot of ground on it. But it's
always been a PITA in town, because it's so top-heavy.

I looked at a Guzzi California cruiser, but they're talking like it's
not going to be made next year. So, on the way back from my agent's in
Milwaukeed two weeks ago, I stopped at House of Harley Davidson. (You
know, if you're gonna live close to Milwaukee--why wouldn'tcha?)

He put me on a Softtail Heritage, and that was pretty cool. Not
exactly a good fit. So we moved up to a Road King. Perfect fit, right
amount of glitz, and it's still a motorcycle (unlike what BMW has
morphed into, today.) A bit heavy, but a dramatically lower center of
mass...and sweet on the open road.

So, that's the next toy. If I can crunch the numbers correctly, I
should be on it in September.

And with my MyFi, I can even have XM for long cruises.

If I could only figure out how to put a Becker 2340 on it for SW.....

I'm working on it.


Any recommendations for accessories....ie, bars, saddles for two up
cruising?





Peter. been there. mower minibikes, mopeds and a few more. your
going to fall in love with the road king. any question, go to-
rec.motorcycles.harley- nice group. good bunch of guys. you
might read a few post before you jump in. the guys run the group
like a bar. so, when you post, you need to buy a round. the
barmaid is Shirley. you know, money on the bar. lot of good
guys from all walks of life. enjoy.

Drifter...