( OT ) Outsourcing
 

This was forwarded by a friend; thought I'd pass it along:

OUTSOURCING ANNOUNCEMENT
by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill

Washington D.C. - Congress today announced that the Office of President of
the United States will be outsourced to overseas as of June 30, the
end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400K a year in
salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam
Smith (D - Wash) who, with the aid of the congress research arm, the General
Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.
"We
simply can
no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive on the
world
stage," Congressman Smith said. Exporting American jobs has been a
popular trend lately, ironically at the urging of President Bush.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until
his
final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period,
he will
then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from unemployment insurance
for 13
weeks.

Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health
insurance
coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required limit.
"I'm in
shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought fer sure I'd have some job
security
around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do now," he further
lamented.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move.

Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be
assuming
the Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh
was
born in the United States while his parents were here on student
visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of
US$320 a
month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time
difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working
primarily at
night, when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am excited
to
serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview.
"Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express
call
center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be
fully
aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A
Congressional
Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to
follow
which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The
Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized
as
these scripting tools have already been used previously by Mr. Bush
here in
the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer
without
having to fully understand the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities
including that
of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.

Diverd4777 wrote:

This was forwarded by a friend;

Was it Soames123?

thought I'd pass it along:

OUTSOURCING ANNOUNCEMENT
by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill

Washington D.C. - Congress today announced that the Office of President of
the United States will be outsourced to overseas as of June 30, the
end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400K a year in
salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam
Smith (D - Wash) who, with the aid of the congress research arm, the General
Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively.
"We
simply can
no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive on the
world
stage," Congressman Smith said. Exporting American jobs has been a
popular trend lately, ironically at the urging of President Bush.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until
his
final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period,
he will
then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from unemployment insurance
for 13
weeks.

Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health
insurance
coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required limit.
"I'm in
shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought fer sure I'd have some job
security
around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do now," he further
lamented.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move.

Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be
assuming
the Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh
was
born in the United States while his parents were here on student
visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of
US$320 a
month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time
difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working
primarily at
night, when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am excited
to
serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview.
"Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express
call
center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be
fully
aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A
Congressional
Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to
follow
which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The
Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized
as
these scripting tools have already been used previously by Mr. Bush
here in
the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer
without
having to fully understand the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities
including that
of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.

"T. Early" wrote:

"dxAce" wrote in message
...


Diverd4777 wrote:

This was forwarded by a friend;

Was it Soames123?

My guess is that Soames has been "outsourced." However, expect a
promotion for Chandler7600.

LOL

"dxAce" wrote in message
...


Diverd4777 wrote:

This was forwarded by a friend;

Was it Soames123?

My guess is that Soames has been "outsourced." However, expect a
promotion for Chandler7600.

On Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:13:28 -0400, dxAce wrote:



"T. Early" wrote:

"dxAce" wrote in message
...


Diverd4777 wrote:

This was forwarded by a friend;

Was it Soames123?

My guess is that Soames has been "outsourced." However, expect a
promotion for Chandler7600.

LOL


Ditto LOL

"William S Everhart 90512" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:13:28 -0400, dxAce wrote:



"T. Early" wrote:

"dxAce" wrote in message
...


Diverd4777 wrote:

This was forwarded by a friend;

Was it Soames123?

My guess is that Soames has been "outsourced." However, expect a
promotion for Chandler7600.

LOL


Ditto LOL

I love how the leftys try to make this a policy issue. Hey, guess what,
outsourcing has been going on for a loooong time. Even under Clinton!
Remember NAFTA? Welcome to the global economy.