How very original -- take a ten year old joke, substitute
"consultant for the Kerry campaign" for "computer consultant" and
think you're ready to go on the Comedy Channer. Pathetic.


On 26 Oct 2004 02:40:58 GMT, "-=jd=-"
wrote:

Cowboy Logic -OR- How I Decided How To Vote

A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when
suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him.

The driver, a young man in an YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari
sunglasses & an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the
cowboy,

"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in
your herd, will you give a calf?

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at
his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why
not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook
computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he
then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the
digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he
receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been
processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with
hundreds of complex, inter-related formulas. He uploads all of
this data via an e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-
color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser
Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"
says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the
animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into
the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give him back?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
"Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the Kerry campaign." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for
an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you
don't know anything about my business... Now give me back my
dog.

-=jd=-