Dougay's Court Transcripts
Judge: Dougay "Foodstamp" Adair, you are charged with evading child support.
How do you plead?
Dougay: Not guilty your honor.
Judge: So your paying support, is that what your trying to tell me?
Dougay: No, I don't pay my support, but I have a no code ham license.
Judge: What does that have to do with paying child support?
Dougay: As a no code tech, I am compelled to stop keyclowns from using the
freeband.
Judge: I still don't see the connection. Why aren't you paying you child
support?
Dougay: I'm a licensed ham. Don't you recognize my importance in this world?
Without me the keyqueenz will just talk on the freebands any time they wish.
Judge: No, I don't. Shouldn't the FCC be taking care of this?
Dougay: As a ham I am the FCC.
Judge: So how much does the FCC pay you?
Dougay: Nothing. It's my duty as a ham.
Judge: Your duty is to your children.
Dougay: I don't think you see the importance of having a ham license. I'm
special, not everyone can get a ham license. I do important things.
Judge: I sentence you to 3 years in prison.
Dougay: I see what's happening, Steveo has gotten to you. There is some sort
of keyclown conspiracy going on here.
Judge: Bailiff take him away.
Two bailiffs grab Dougay and drag him out of the court room kicking and
screaming.
Dougay: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! I'M A LICENSED HAM!!! I AM ABOVE THE
LAW!!!
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