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Old December 10th 04, 10:00 PM
dragonlady
 
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In article ,
Scott en Aztl?n wrote:

On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 11:15:55 -0500, Mark wrote:

Not to mention another reason for "invading" your kid's "privacy". Some of
the foolish actions they may take could very well cost the parent both
legally
and financially.


BINGO.

And as long as I am on the hook legaly and financially for my child's
behavior, I'm going to control that behavior in any way I see fit.

The day they are the ones who will go to jail when they screw up is
the day I stop caring what they say to their friends on the phone.

Sorry if that offends you bleeding heart liberals in the audience.



My kids are now all 18 and older, and I have not stopped caring.

I'm glad to no longer be "on the hook", but I still care passionately.
If I thought invading their privacy at this point would serve any useful
purpose, I'd do it.

Though I will point out, in the "for what it's worth" category, that
many times the parents are NOT fined or held responsible. When my
daughter got busted in 10th grade with brandy at school (and drunk), and
when she got busted for having cigarettes in her possession, she had to
go to court, and fines were levied. I didn't pay them. Neither did she
-- until she found out she couldn't get her driver's license until she
DID pay them. The silly girl thought I'd pay the fines, or lend her the
money to pay them. (Not sure what universe she thought we were in . .
..) She finally got a job, and paid the fines -- and got her license
last week, just a few weeks before her 19th birthday.

In other cases, the parents CAN still be held responsible no matter how
old the "kid" is -- for example, if my car or house are found to have
illegal drugs in them, I could still be fined or have my property
confiscated, even if I didn't know they were there. There've been cases
where people have been thrown out of their rental units because one of
their kids (or grandkids) had illegal drugs on the premises.

I'm one of those "bleeding heart liberals" (though I much prefer to
think of myself as progressive). The only thing I find offensive about
your statement is that you stopped caring. I don't think I'll EVER stop
caring!
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care