"Somebody Somewhere" wrote in message
news:bm9ub3RtZQ==.2a3038ed7fd3745e0e7235efe7f550a6 @1061076992.cotse.net...

No, he isn't a nutball, just a man with the balls to tell it like it is.
Newsweek, of course, is run by jews. No surprise there.

Dear "Somebody Somewhere":

Get real you pink pathetic shizztstain.
Begin yer jorney by starting he

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SHUT UP OR STAND UP! - "The Brag of the SubGenius"
(Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973)

"I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the ****ing gods out of my *nose*!
Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man
bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out
the False Prohets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to
throw a *loaf*! For I speak *only* the ****ing *Truth*, and never in my
days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including
this very one you hear! I say, `****'em if they can't take a joke!!!!!!!!'
By God, `Anything for a laugh', I say. I am the last remaining Homo
Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so
as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the *first* god damn water!
Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars!
I drank the *Devil* under seven tables, I am too *intense* to die, I'm
insured for acts o' God *and* Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless
fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with
their hubcaps! I *cannot* be tracked on radar! I wear nothing
uniform, I wear *no* god damn uniform! Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and
have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the
Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash! I'm a bacteriological weapon,
I *armed* and *loaded*! I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium,
power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they
plug *me* in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds
in zero gravity, *come and get me*! I've sired retarded space *******s
across the Cosmos, I cook and *eat* my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I'm the
Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's
hands are my *ideal* playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker
; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think *backwards*! I do it for
*fun*!
My imagination is a *****ing* cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me!
The say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well by God! I count
to a godzillion and *one*! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give
me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use
a python for a prophylactic; I'm *thicker, harder* and *meaner* than the
Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze *your* seed before
it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed
it for the past, I made *Time* wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My
infernal
breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my *spoor* on the Rock of Ages,
*who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me,
whose candle will I fart out? Whoop! I'm ready!* So step aside, all you
butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a
Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I'm a screamer and a
laugher, I make a *spectacle* of myself, I am a *sight*! My physical type
*cannot* be classified by science, my `familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed
it dip****s! I communicate without *wires* or *strings*! I am a Thuggee,
I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag;
I swam the *Bermuda Triangle* and didn't get wet! I circumcize dinosaurs
with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip; I change tires with my *tongue*
and my *tool*! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the *Sun*!
I'm the bigfooted devil of Level 14, who'll try to blow me down? I've
packed
the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates
are the *mass* of my religion, *I take drugs*! Yes, I'm a rip-snorter,
I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they're picked off the
*tree*!
*Space* monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the *Pyramides* off my shoes
before I enter *my* house. I'm *fuel-injected*, I'll live forever and
remember
it afterwords! I'm *immune*! I'm *radioactive*! Come *on* and give me
cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter my *bread* with the juice! *I'm
supernatural*, I bend *crowbars* with my meat ax and a thought! My
droppings bore through the earth and erupt *volcanoes* in *China*!
Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen *Hindoos*
in Asia! YEEE HAW! *Gut Blowout*! I am a *Moray Eel*, I am a *Komodo
Dragon*, I am the *Killer Whale bereft of its pup*! I have a triple
backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me *all* your Slack!
I told *Jesus* I wouldn't go to church and He *shook my hand*!
I have my *own* personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't give a
**** if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any
****ing *Slack* after death! I am a god damn *visionary*, I see the future
and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat *black holes* for
breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle my DNA with the sheer force
of my mighty *will*! I steer my *own* god damn evolution! I ran 'em
out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a *profit*! I'm enlightened, I
achieved
`Nirvana' and took it *home* with me. *Yip, yip, YEEEEEEE!* I'm
so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug
at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait!
They'll *never* clean *my* cage!!"

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