"Richard Clark" wrote in message
...
The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
internet which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Bonus question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Jan during
my Freshman year that, " ... it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having an affair with her, then # 2 above cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

This student received the only "A."

************************************************** **

NOTE, the entirety of the material above is not mine, but arrived by
email anonymously and unrelated to matters discussed in this group.

My only comment is that this should be a candidate for Instant
Classic.

73's
Richard Clark, KB7QHC

It is a bull****-classic. From 9th Grade Chemistry of many years ago.

Jack