All this is covered in a good college E&M course. I wish I had an E&M
book that I could recommend for self-study, but I don't. Mine is
"Elements of Engineering Electromagnetics", but I took a course. I don't
think I would have been able to just pick up the book and learn it from
there.

I would recommend:

Introduction to Electromagnetic Fields, by Paul and Nasar, 3rd edition.
ISBN: 0070460833. Available from www.bn.com, used, from $59. The review of
vector calculus in the first two chapters is excellent. The text covers
plane waves incident on material boundaries (and the resultant standing
waves). It also covers transmission lines.

Regards,

Frank