Roger said:

"Hey Lardass, tell us why you were committed to the mental
nuthouse in Independance, Iowa for a year after you tried to
commit suicide! You really shouldn't have bungled it up, since
you have absolutely nothing to live for, depression boy."
??????????????

Poor Roger. He speaks from experience. Roger knows all too well the
humiliation of being admitted to a mental health institution.
The issue of suicide is all too familiar to Roger, but as with everything
else he has tried, he failed at that, too.

And speaking of nothing to live for, Roger is the Poster Boy Supreme.

Look at you, Roger. You spend an uncountable number of hours each day
stalking Lloyd. Your delusions have gotten so bad that you literally see and
hear Lloyd everywhere.
Can you, Roger, even go to the local store without imagining that Lloyd is
behind every display? Hiding behind the Campbell soup cans? Do you look over
your shoulder as you work in the yard, expecting to see Lloyd behind every
tree or bush? If your lawn mower doesn't start, do you accuse Lloyd of
putting a dirty spark plug in it? When your TV remote goes bad, do you
accuse Lloyd of replacing good batteries with bad? And God forbid the milk
in your refrigerator should go sour. You know how sneaky Lloyd is...he lives
for the opportunity to sneak into your kitchen and replace good milk with
sour. He's pretty good at picking locks in the middle of the night, but you
already know that.

You really should look into getting some help for your delusions. If you
don't, that little unbalanced Merry-Go-Round in your head is not going to
stop but will only spin faster and faster and faster until one day Chief
Stenger finds you hanging lifelessly from a closet rod. Not that this would
be a loss, but it would be an inconvenience for Stenger in that he'd have to
do an hour's worth of paperwork. You are not worth but fifteen minutes, if
that.