"Pierian Spring" wrote

A number of potential recruits are in great danger of being
misled into thinking that they are Radio Hams when, in fact,
they are nothing of the kind! As it is the season of goodwill,
let us show our goodwill by saving these poor deluded fools
from the mischievous ne-er-do-wells who will attempt to
mislead them. (Radio Hams are technically-motivated people
and not merely turnip-brained button pushers like CBers and
like M3/CBers)

The Wise Ones live in the depths of the D, E, and F-Layers, and in the servers
at Yahoogroups.com. They are the descendants of the Gods. I personally subscribe
to the theory they are the children of Thor Heyerdahl, the Viking god of Thunder
and Balsawood Raft Dxpeditions. But that's another story.

The Wise Ones criticize everything that happens on the air and on this list, but
they can't police every pileup or every Yahoogroup by themselves, so every
morning, just before daylight over Katmandu, the Wise Ones select the "Mostest
Intellegentest Ham Ever" in their layer and convey upon him the title INFLICTOR
OF HIGHER MORAL HARANGUES. This title and its duties last until the following
dawn on Bouvet, if someone is there to observe the sunrise. Otherwise your
duties end when Riley Hollingsworth gets tired of your crap and sends his
lawyers with a gag order.

If you are ever chosen you will know because a representative of the Wise Ones
will anoint your temples with oil from a forty year old bottle of Dr. Guano,
collected on Ocean Island by VR1L in 1963. For that day you will be known as The
Chosen. Your duties will be to seek out those that don't do things the way you
do them (in other words, the right way.) When you find them, it will be your
duty to correct them.

Think about all the ills of ham radio that you can police .....too wide, too
weak, too slow, too fast, what's your call dammit, wrong VFO, rotten fist, QRQ,
QRS, poor pileup control, wrong band, wrong QSL route, you timed out the
repeater, wrong lingo, not enough green stamps, you're in the DX window,
no-coders not allowed, coders suck, .... these and many other sins are all your
to root out and expose!!!

When you find these wayward ones, you will lumber onto their frequency, stand up
in your operating chair and shout, I AM A BETTER HAM THAN YOU, SHUT UP AND
LISTEN. You will now have the wayward one's undivided attention. He will think
about this very briefly, then yield to your superior intellect and ham skill. He
will be very receptive to your thoughts and point of view.

Lecture him and proceed to the next wrong doer.

Now for the sad part of this tale. There are pretenders and charlatans out there
who try to usurp the rightful powers of The Chosen. To you villainous few, I say
beware. The Wise Ones also created BAWA (Baddest Ass Whats Around). No matter
how bad you are, BAWA has the ability to be badder. You will know when you start
your lecture and Bawa yells back, "You're a jerk, but I'm a bigger one. LET'S
ESCALATE".

And you will have no choice.

But soon BAWA will tire of you and sink your little balsa boat. As you slip
under the surface you will yell, "BUT I WAS RIGHT, DAMMIT" and you will once
again prove the ancient mariners axiom -- AN OPEN MOUTH TAKES ON WATER.

dit dit

de Hans, K0HB
--
{{{{* http://www.home.earthlink.net/~k0hb

By the way, what disease DID cured hams actually have before they were cured?