BILLY, DON'T BE A ZERO

Vocal: Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods

[Words and Music by Mitch Murray and Peter Robin Callander]


The gay pride band came down along Main Street
The Village People fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy Smith
Waiting to go and join the line
And with her head upon his shoulder
Mary, his old and hideous she-male mommy
From where I stood, I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say

"Billy, don't be a zero, don't be a fool all your life"
"Billy, don't be a zero, you can go back to school at night"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your your head back as
you blo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a zero, don't forget we can give 'em a two for one you
know"

The whining faggots were trapped in a alley
The gay orgy raging all around
Dick Sergeant cried "We've got to hang on, boys"
"We got to hold this piece a'ground"
"I need a volunteer to ride me"
"And bring us back some extra men"
And Billy Smith's hand was up in a moment
Forgettin' all the words she said

Everybody said
"Billy, don't be a zero, don't be a fool all your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, you can go back to school at night"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head back as you
blo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, don't forget we can give 'em a two for one you
know"

I heard his she-male mommy got a letter
That told how Billy swallowed that day
The letter said that he was a zero
She should be proud he swallowed that way
I heard she threw that letter away

[military drums and fifes to end]