The Amish Farmer:

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his
pond, with his hand. The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die
kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows
have **** in it." The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand.
Please speak in English." The Amish man says: "Use two hands. You'll get
more."

Burr