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Old August 31st 08, 04:46 AM posted to rec.radio.cb
Steve Steve is offline
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First recorded activity by RadioBanter: Jan 2008
Posts: 342
Default Doug Adair, Sparky, and George

Yeah well that's what you get from stations like him. (n8wwm)

At any rate it's nice to see you in the pile, still running an Icom or no?

"Yo Mamma" wrote:
I really don't know. Other than perhaps he's grown tired of the homo
stuff that came over from the ham groups. I was kind of hoping that this
would get a response from him. :-)

What happened to Doug? I know he's really messed up his life in numerous
ways...proof provided by Lucas county. I know he's still selling junk on
EBay as "Superskyhooks", but he appears to mostly leave this group alone.
Well, other than posting as you from time to time.

"Steve" wrote in message
...
Hello Yo, (top posted reply as to not trim)

Yeah that was a fun throw-back to days gone by, good to go. Wtf
happened to
Frank?


"Yo Mamma" wrote:
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(Knock at the door) Doug opens door wearing his skimpiest thong
underwear

Doug: Hi Sparky! How are you!

Sparky: I'm good Doug. Is dinner ready?

Doug: Almost. In the meantime, you can snack on me, but we need to
hurry
before George gets here.

Sparkyscreaming) Doug! Will you shut up with the advances! I already
told you I've started to like women now! Now leave me alone!

Doug: OK, OK! I just thought we could be like the old days again.

Sparky: No, I'm really going to stick it out this time.

Doug: (sniffling) Ok Sparky, have it your way. I'll respect your
wishes.

Sparky: Where's George? Do we have to wait for him to eat?

Doug: Yes, he's bringing the salad.

Sparky: OK. Got any snacks?

Doug: I think so, let me check.

(knock at the door) Doug answers the door.

Dougexclaiming) George! My God! What happened to you?

Georgecrying) I was just out minding my own business, following this
little girl, and all the sudden, wham! Her Dad must have seen me and
punched me. I had
just asked if she wanted some candy too. I think I could have had her.
Then the
Dad pulled out of the window of my Pacer, and beat me some more. I
think he dislocated my shoulder too.

Sparky: Can we eat now?

Doug: Sparky, can't you see George is hurt? Go get one of the steaks
for
George's black eyes. And while you're in the kitchen Sparky, get some
ice for
his broken nose and busted lip too.

Sparky: OK, but I ain't eating the steak that you use on George's
eyes!

Doug: OK, whatever!

(Sparky spends fully 5 minutes trying to figure out which steak is the
smallest, so he can have the biggestââ,¬Â¦then finally he returns)

Doug: God Sparky! Why did you take a bite out of it? It's raw, for
Christ's
sake!

Sparkyunintelligible mumbling caused by mouthful of raw steak)

Douggrabs steak from Sparky and applies it to George's eyes) There now
George. Is that better? Dougy knows how to make you feel better,
doesn't he?

George: Yes Doug, it's much better now. Thanks, you know I bruise
easily.

Doug: Hey Sparky, light the grill.

Sparky: Hey, those steaks ain't half bad raw! Do we really need to
cook
them?

Doug: My God Sparky! Sometimes you act like a Neanderthal! Light the
damn
grill!

(Sparky goes out back, turns on the gas, clicks the igniter
repeatedly, nothing
happens. Goes back inside for matches and returns)

Dougjust as Sparky lights the match) NO! STOP!

(loud explosion)

Sparky: (screaming) I'm on fire! Somebody help me!

(Sparky runs back through the house with his beard on fire, screaming
for help.
Doug and George race behind him with teacups filled with water)

To Be Continued

Finally, Doug and George manage to catch Sparky and beat out the fire
in Sparky's beard with the teacups.

Sparky: Thanks guys! That was close! I saw my life flash before my
eyes.

Doug: No prob Sparky. You know we love you.

George: Speak for yourself, Doug! Faggot!

Sparky: Can we eat now?

George: Well, we could if you hadn't blown up the grill!

Doug: It's OK Sparky. We'll just grill the steaks on the stove.

Sparky: I don't wanna wait! I'm getting dizzy. My cholesterol must
have
dropped
below 300.

George: Here, drink this.

Sparky: What is it?

George: Bacon drippings. It will bring the cholesterol level back up
in
your
blood.

Sparkydrinks greedily) Burp! Thanks George.

George: No problem. Hey Doug, you still have that "Little Boys Gone
Wild
in
Toledo"
video?

Doug: I think soââ,¬Â¦check over there in the gay porn by the VCR.

George: Faggot! (looks for the tape)

Sparky: I'm hungry! Let's eat.

Doug: Just hang on a minute. Let me get these damn steaks cooked.
(throws
the
steaks in the pan)

George: (tearing his eyes off the video) Sparky, get the salad and
dressing
ready, will ya? I'm busy now.

Sparky: OK, George. (Sparky sets the table)

Doug: How do you guys like your steaks?

Sparky: Raw is fine with me.

George: (rubbing his crotch while watching the little girl video) I
don't
care.
Yeah, raw is fine with me too.

Doug: (mumbles) Damn weirdo'sââ,¬Â¦

Doug: (grease splatters on Doug's hairless chest) Ouch!

George: Doug, do you mind if I take this video home with me?

Doug: Sure, take it. You know I don't like females.

George: (under his breath) Faggot!

Sparky: Can we eat now?

Doug: Yep! Steaks are done. (Doug places them on the table)

Sparky: I'm first George! That's my steak!

George: Whatever Sparky! Hell, I'm just gonna leave now. (grabs the
video
and
heads for the door)

Doug: Where you going, George?

George: Umââ,¬Â¦uhââ,¬Â¦I'm not really hungry now. I think I'll just
watch this
tape
at home.

Sparky: Good! Gimme his steak.

Doug: OK George, see ya later.

George: Bye

To be continuedââ,¬Â¦.

Scene: Much later in the evening after George has gone home to watch
his
kiddy
porn, we return to find Doug and Sparky enmeshed in each other's arms.

Doug: Sparky, I knew you would come around.

Sparky: Well Doug, I kind of feel guiltyââ,¬Â¦almost as if I'm
slipping
back
into
my old self. I've really tried to kick this man habit, but I can't
seem to stop
having feelings for you.

Doug: Well Sparky, I always knew we were meant for each other.

Sparky: I only ask one thing of you, Doug.

Doug: What might that be, Sparky?

Sparky: All I ask is that you don't breath a word of this encounter to
George.

Doug: Fair enough. I know he's a bit of a bigot.

Sparky: Yes he is, but he's still my only real friend. You know, I
can't
count
the times that he's tried to save me when I've gotten in over my head
on the newsgroup.

Doug: I know Sparky, and he's done the same for me. I really love him,
but I
can't let him know that.

Sparky: So, we're sworn to secrecy, right Doug?

Doug: Absolutely! Remember, we did take the AKC pledge.

Sparkychuckles quietly)

Sparky: (tentatively) OK Doug, I'm all yours.

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