Thread: I have returned
View Single Post
  #34   Report Post  
Old October 7th 10, 08:06 PM posted to rec.radio.shortwave
D. Peter Maus[_2_] D. Peter Maus[_2_] is offline
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by RadioBanter: Mar 2010
Posts: 665
Default I have returned

On 10/7/10 12:07 , John Harbl wrote:
On 10/7/10 11:40 AM, D. Peter Maus wrote:

And I want my Gary Puckett albums back.

Are MP3s OK?


Absolutely not. MP3, the catamite of audio.


You know, Pete, this is one area in which we agree. MP3s *are* the
catamite of audio. Pegs on a fence are likely involved, too.

But they are the format I have used. Yes, I know - there are many
far-superior alternatives - but the ubiquity of support for the format
means that if I wish to enjoy the soothing sounds of Ethel Merman or the
comedy stylings of Gilbert Gottfried via a multiplicity of devices, it
is the format I must use.

Why would you deny me my music as you have denied our destiny? Can I not
keep at least that one small comfort? WHY MUST YOU ROB ME OF EVERYTHING,
RENDING MY HEART IN THE PROCESS?



Because you changed all my iTunes to Ogg Vorbis files.

Damn you.



I am reaching out to you, Pete. Those MP3s are a token of my affection.
If ever our time together meant anything to you, you will understand this.



Our time together meant as much as the rash you gave me at lunch.



The cat peed on the vinyl, and now I don't want to touch
it.


Imagine my surprise. You said the same thing during our entire
relationship. I gave you the best hours of my life, and this is the
thanks I get.


I do not control the cat's urinary activities;



Bull****. You installed the spigot.


You seemed OK with it, and the time to have said otherwise is now
long past. The wonder of those hours cannot heal the wounds I am
afflicted with now.


Good. You can now enjoy the life of antibiotics I've been made to
enjoy.



Story of my life. Always a bride, never an altar boy.


Look, I bought you the outfit - and as far as I am aware, it still hangs
unsullied in your wardrobe. No, I don't want it back; the memories it
would bring with it are too painful to face. But its pristine condition
is entirely attributable to your refusal to wear it when it was
presented to you (in a rather nice velvet-lined wooden box, I might
add). Much like the cat and his mictural activities, that is something
entirely beyond my control.



Typical. It's everyone else's fault. I wore the maid's outfit for
you. But no, that wasn't enough. Then it was the pirate suit. Then
it the "Mr Moose". Then it was Tom Terrific, until you got your dick
caught in the funnel.

Anything for me? Trichomoniasis. And an anaphylactic response to
Tupperware.



Just because we're having a tiff doesn't mean that I should have to
compromise my principles.


Principles my ass. Use a sock.


I can't. You took them all with you.



Oh, yeah. Well, you can't have them back.






- J.