FICTION?

The United States today suffered the effects of a 9.0 earthquake and
resulting tidal wave. The disastrous events of this morning knocked out
many power lines and all cellular and landline communications. Amateur
radio operators volunteered to be of service providing life-saving
communications, but were unable to be of assistance due to the pervasive
Broadband over Power Lines (BPL) radiation that was emanating from
nearly every remaining power line.

"We've pretty much been limited to Tech frequencies since BPL was rushed
into service," said K. Hurts, press agent for Hams on VHF. "We can talk
across the street on HF, but it takes all the power that we have, and
since many of us are limited by antenna restrictions, we finally gave
up. We can't use HF."

"Where are the hams?" asked President G. W. Bush. "I thought this group
of highly-trained volunteer operators would be there to help us when our
infrastructure fails." Where indeed. Why do they expect hams to be
able to communicate when their multi-million dollar systems fail?

Strange bedfellows

Connie Hunt, president of the homeowners association in Douche, MN, was
unable to contact her dear sister in the affected area. Remembering
that one of her neighbors was a ham operator, she contacted Mr. Smart.
After asking him if he could contact her sister, Smart said that no, he
couldn't, because his CCR limited his antenna to 13 feet AGL. "Isn't
that enough to get 1200 miles? I can call on my cell phone farther than
that, and it only has a 4" antenna!"

"Go ahead," said Smart.

"Well, I can't, because the cell phone isn't working now," said Hunt.

"I wish I had a better antenna so I could help you, you stupid Hunt."

During the rush to approve BPL operations, one news op-ed piece asked
"Why should progress in high-speed internet be held back by some hobby
that no one needs? We need high-speed connectivity. Ham operators can
find another equally-interesting hobby, maybe stamp or coin collecting."
When asked for comment about her earlier statement regarding ham
operators, the reporter replied

(you finish the story)

When the president was asked why the FCC allowed the HF spectrum to be
polluted with BPL, he said

(you finish the story)

When the homeowners organization said that hams should be able to use
their small (and still unsightly) antennas to work for the general
public during a disaster, we told them

(you finish the story)