RadioBanter - View Single Post

September 19th 03, 05:22 AM

(Len Over 21) wrote in
:

You never had me "killfiled," hypocrite.

You were busy "working to track Isabel for a year" or something
similar.

You never did check out a working US Army field communications
center or even investigate the how and why of US Army comm use
when you were supposedly working for the US Army. You had ample
time to do so.

But you never did and you had far more/easier access than most.

You must have found out an awful truth...that the US military does
NOT use any morse code for communications now!

************************************************** *****************
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ATTENTION USENET VISITORS, THIS AREA HAS BEEN DECLARED A TROLL
WILDLIFE REFUGE. TO LEARN ABOUT THE TROLL, ITS HABITAT, AND
ITS WAY OF LIFE, PLEASE READ THE SIGN-POST BELOW. IF YOU WOULD
LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE TROLL, YOU CAN PICK UP BOOKS AND
SOUVENIRS IN THE GIFT SHOP AT THE END OF THE TOUR. THANK YOU
IN ADVANCE FOR OBSERVING ALL TROLL WILDLIFE REFUGE RULES, HAVE
A NICE DAY.
************************************************** *****************
************************************************** *****************

-----------------------------------------
| Common name: Woodland Troll |
| Scientific name: Trollus Useneticus |
-----------------------------------------

################################################## ##########
# #
# PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS: #
# #
# The common woodland troll (Trollus Useneticus) is an #
# approximately 1.7m long nocturnal furry creature that #
# has been found to exist in nearly every climate and #
# latitude. Predominant features include: a very pale #
# complexion, a large bony ridge above the eyes, a dense #
# cranium, dragging knuckles, and a pungent odor. #
# #
################################################## ##########

################################################## ##########
# #
# HABITAT: #
# #
# Most trolls spend the daylight hours under a large rock #
# sleeping. Unfortunately, the natural habitat of the #
# troll has been encroached by development (as is all too #
# common these days). The modern troll has to make due #
# with a slimy, moss covered rock. Often, trolls are #
# forced to endure poor sanitation and filthy living #
# conditions. Combined with the general lack of hygiene #
# among trolls, this results in a very unpleasant odor. #
# #
################################################## ##########

################################################## ##########
# #
# ACTIVITIES AND DIET: #
# #
# During their active period at night, the common troll #
# engages in numerous activities, though the most #
# important of these is foraging for food. The one #
# characteristic that ties all different troll species #
# and sub-species together is their diet. Trolls #
# invariably survive off of a combination of cheetos, #
# arguments, and annoying others. A typical troll #
# requires approximately 10 arguments and flames per day #
# just to stay alive. With the increasing use of #
# killfiles and just regular ignoring of trolls, it has #
# become more and more difficult for trolls to eke out a #
# basic sustenance. #
# #
################################################## ##########

################################################## ##########
# #
# KNOWN PREDATORS: #
# #
# Unfortunately, trolls have many predators. Most common #
# among them are the helpful researcher, the informative #
# poster, the cool headed responder, and the kill-filer. #
# The cool header responder is technically not a troll #
# predator however. Trolls are typically unfazed by #
# logical counter arguments and cool headed reason. #
# However, even though their posts do not deliver the #
# same level of sustenance that a "flamer" or an "annoyed #
# poster" may provide, they still provide a valuable #
# source of dietary fiber for the troll. #
# #
# The most dangerous predators for the trolls are the #
# helpful researcher, the informative poster, and the #
# kill-filer. The common troll is highly allergic to #
# fact, real data, and research. Upon skin contact with #
# actual hard evidence and real data, the troll will #
# experience intense itching and burning at the site of #
# contact, followed by lesions and blisters. Eventually, #
# this results in loss of skin near the area of contact, #
# and usually to loss of a limb (in the example of #
# contact near the arm or leg). Contact with facts and #
# data near the facial area usually results in a slow #
# painful death. Contact with extremely high doses of #
# fact and hard data can cause temporary loss of #
# consciousness and even permanent brain damage for the #
# troll. #
# #
# The kill-filer poses a much more insidious threat to #
# the troll. Not posing a direct threat to the troll per #
# se, the kill-filer simply deprives the troll of yet #
# another source of nourishment. Some trolls have #
# developed counter measures to thwart the kill-filers, #
# usually this takes the form of a type of camoflage. #
# #
# The trolls' predators have reaped a terrible slaughter #
# over the years, resulting in the death of great hordes #
# of trolls. Trolls continue to breed rapidly though and #
# their population is stable. However, it is unknown how #
# long this situation can persist. Eventually, natural #
# predators and poachers may result in lower numbers of #
# trolls. Already we are seeing lower diversity among #
# the different troll species. That is why this troll #
# habitat refuge exists, to ensure the preservation of #
# the troll for not only our future, but the future of #
# our children. #
# #
################################################## ##########

================================================== ========
/ This troll habitat refuge has been paid for in part by /
/ the anti Troll-Defamation League, the International /
/ Society for the Advancement of Trolls, and the Troll /
/ Habitat Preservation Alliance. /
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