Father O'Malley answers the phone "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"It is"
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I can"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will".




An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation
ensues:
I have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and
great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls,
hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them
three times."
P riest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody."
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BROTHEL TRIP An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he
would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the
ancient man and asks how old he is.
"I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman.
"Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man. "How much do I owe you?"
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SENILITY An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm
getting senile.
Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."
"That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you
forget to zip down."
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PESTCONTROL A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector
from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in
the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
"Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!" and she
pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the
bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked
him.
"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the e xterminator.
"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
replied.
"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said,... "Those little *******s."
--
KC8TCQ
ARRL Member - ARES
SKYWARN