If you were in a crowded radio store and had to fart. Would you endure the
pain and hold it in until you were alone, or would you silently let it out
and hope someone else gets blamed for it?

The best course is to go stand next to an old lady,
preferably one who looks wealthy. Let fly with your
pressure-release, then turn to the old lady and whisper
loudly, "Look innocent, lady, and everybody will think
that *I* did it!" :-)

Which reminds me of an old limerick:

I sat next to the Duchess at tea,
Which was simply the wrong place to be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me!

--
--Myron A. Calhoun, W0PBV.
Five boxes preserve our freedoms: soap, ballot, witness, jury, and cartridge
NRA Life Member and Rifle, Pistol, & Home Firearm Safety Certified Instructor
Certified Instructor for the Kansas Concealed-Carry Handgun license