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October 14th 06, 09:05 PM
posted to rec.radio.cb,alt.usenet.kooks,rec.radio.amateur.policy,alt.religion,ba.broadcast
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HOMO TEST FOR MARKIE
LC wrote: HOMO TEST Tests to determine if you are a Homo 1. [TRUE/FALSE] Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives. There is no shame in being a homo. Homos are weak and easily beat up. Groups of homos are dangerous and will try to take off your clothes and kill you. Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry them. Homos know all the latest dance steps and have great stereo equipment. Homos never say their prayers. Homos cry if you're mean to them. The only way to kill a homo is with a silver bullet. 2. [WORD ANALYSIS] Do you think of yourself as: A Man? A Human Being? A Homo Sapiens? When you order a glass of milk, do you ask for: Skim? Pasteurized? Homogenized? When you are with friends, do you think of the group as: Compatible? Simpatico? Homogeneous? Do you think of the indigent as: Panhandlers? Deadbeats? Homeless Hoboes? If you were travelling, would you stay at a: Bed & Breakfast? Motel? Hotel? 3. [MATCHING] pair the items that go together best A B maroon velvet drapes tan chamois bodyshirt black chintz bedspread wheat colored jeans mauve colored turtleneck white satin sheets U.S. Marines uniform Spandex jockstrap taupe corduroy knickers Oriental scatter rugs powder-blue pullover navy-blue double-breasted blazer black leather briefs hickory riding crop 4. [BIBICAL LITERATURE] identify the top five characters you identify with Abel Cain Ham Lot Onan Esau Sodomites Gomorrahns Nebudchanezzar Jesus King Herod Judas Samson Delilah John the Baptist 5. [OTHER LITERATURE AND AUTHORS] Godot Capt. Ahab Hamlet Puck Tinkerbell Peter Pan Sherlock Holmes Dr. Watson Mr. Hyde Lestat Dr. Frankenstein Marquis de Sade Truman Capote Oscar Wilde Socrates 6. [LINGERING LATENCY] When you were a child, did you believe in: God? Santa Claus? The Tooth Fairy? When you were a child, and played doctor, what kind of doctor were you: Gynecologist? Throat specialist? Proctologist? Who's death did you find most upsetting: Richard Nixon? John Belushi? Rock Hudson? When did you stop breast feeding: Eighteen months? Eighteen years? Ooh, ick? What is your favorite fruit: Whole grapes? Sliced peaches? Whole bananas? 7. [HAVE YOU EVER?] Slipped and fallen while taking a shower and landed on a lemon? Accidently sat on a shot glass while playing strip poker? Gotten "trapped" while vacuuming in the nude? Been tied face down to a bed, and abandoned. [SCORING] If this test makes you think about scoring, then you are probably a homo. |
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