RadioBanter - I SERIOUS NOW SO BE CAREFULL

Ray IKYABWAIed:
wrote in message
oups.com...

Dalek Dicksucking Davies wrote:
It is not "Googles", dumbass. It is Google.
Maybe Roger is right, Todd. You really are a dumbass.

At least he doesn't go around calling himself a "time lord" and plays
with Star Wars dolls like you do, fatass the 32 year old VIRGIN.

(kind of like a fifty year old loser who has no life outside of the Usenet
groups)

Or sort of like you, D & D roleplaying boy.

Subject: Reporting, AIGAP
From: Zeynep Dilli / 'Morwen'
Organization: University of Maryland College Park
Reply-To:
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan

NNTP-Posting-Host: rac5.wam.umd.edu

*** Abstract

This review work is a compilation of observations and impressions
of the author after her initial attempt at contributing to a
Darkfriend gathering in Toledo, OH, in the holy shrine of the group
that is named Chez Moo, between 03.30.2001 and 04.01.2001.
Experimental procedure is outlined and selected results are
presented.

Keywords: Wind, Darkfriends, Chez Moo, Kotobuki, shoulder rubs,
margarita, tofu, anime, mead, COSI, quotes, "Wicked".

*** Introduction

...a wind rose over the Atlantic Ocean. The wind was not the
beginning. That had come when I'd picked up the Dragon Reborn, lo
so many years ago. But it was _a_ beginning.

The wind blew inland and touched me at my workstation in College
Park, UMD campus, just in time for me to perk up reading Ray
Chason's answer to Maggie's invitation--"I have room for two or
three more from the Baltimore-Washington area".

The weave of the moment was set. The Horn had been blown, and I
had to follow. I followed.

*** Experimental Procedure

Ray collected me from College Park around 7:30 am and stepped on
it--figuratively speaking, he's one of the most cautious and solid
drivers I've ever had a ride with--and we were at Laura's place in
Cumberland, Maryland, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Misty
adventures on the slopes of Philadelphian mountains followed. At
one point, the fog elicited the comment "this isn't fog, this is
bubble of evil material."

But no mishaps and only one major weirdness (see Results section)
later, we were pulling in Maggie's parking lot.

We parked, walked to the front door. No doorbells. There is a
basement-level window open next to the door, and through it a black
cat with very, very green eyes is intently watching us. I
remembered, from previous social reports, that it would be a
basement apartment and that it contained cats, so I attempted,
through mental and verbal suggestion, to convince the cat to go call
his mistress to the window.

Cat didn't budge.

There were children's toys visible; coupled with the cat and the
basement location, it was very likely that this was the correct
apartment.

Taking a deep breath, me and Laura strayed two steps from the
concrete path to look deeper into the apartment. And I found myself
looking directly at The Humblest.

Tremulously, I displayed Ray's Dragon's Fang.

He made a hand motion. I thought he meant "come in." I said,
"The door is locked." He repeated the motion. This time I
interpreted it correctly--around. "Ray, Laura, there is a back
door."

There was.

Ten minutes and hugs and handshakes later, we were all settled in
Chez Moo, to be finally formally introduced to JSNIII, Kenn Cavness,
and Anne Willick. Conversation opened with the obligatory newsgroup
remarks and gossip, during the duration of which Pam Korda, Darryl
Sheakley and Steve Ginter arrived; nice rants were reminisced upon,
September was looked back on with contempt (to my horror, I
discovered that September was the year when I made initial
connection, the shame), some people were advised to chill out--shame
they weren't there. Novak advertised flunky story. Steve brought
mead, which drew appreciative glances. Mark, Maggie's "spousal
unit" appeared. Kids ran around, were ordered to tidy their room,
ran around, were ordered to.... you get the idea. Maggie resisted
all attempts at helping her out in the kitchen.

Considering what the food was like when it was ready, she
apparently didn't need it. I'm afraid she is looking at a bleak
future of attempts from me to pry recipes out of her. Yum.

Somewhere in that conversation, it was established that Novak had
never seen Iron Chef. It was agreed upon by consensus that he
should--not that we all didn't want to see it anyway. It wasn't yet
time for Steve to go pick up Leah from the airport, so we settled
around the TV.

I sensed a presence behind me, and twisted around to see Steve
hovering there with hands twisted into claws. He either intended to
kill me summarily, or perform the other obvious alternative. I
didn't have far to go even if I ran, so I submitted to my fate.

My shoulders hadn't felt that good in months. Steve Gaidin knows
what he's doing with those, to borrow and modify a phrase from
Darryl, +10 hands. Thank you, Steve.

Darryl's artwork was passed around and admired. His drawing of
Loial needs to be reproduced on a piece of sheet steel with laser
engraving, and then used to beat D.K.Sweet over the head with.

The Iron Chef battle was, of all things, on tofu, which spawned
all kinds of wisecracks. Steve went to pick up Leah with Maggie and
Kenn. Leah's plane had been delayed several times. Half an hour or
so after they left, the phone rang. We glanced, Novak said someone
should pick it up, I picked it up. Call from payphone. A tired
female voice. "Are you Leah Cole?" Affirmative. "Steve, Maggie
and Kenn left about half an hour ago to pick you up, so if you hang
around the gate, I guess..."

The four arrived, and Leah promptly demonstrated The Lap. That
would spread. More conversation ensued and quotes were recorded.

Saturday, we who crashed in the kids' room woke up to the sounds
of kids playing with the laptop on the top bunk and the smell of
coffee drifting in. Breakfast was wonderful. Snuggling on the
coach/floor, cartoons were watched, as Anne left and reappeared with
Jeff Huo. More conversation appeared. Novak talked about the
flunky, and he didn't disappoint ("He paid _how much_ for a
watch?"). As we were getting ready to invade COSI, Darryl left.

COSI, the interactive-science museum in downtown Toledo, was
several different kinds of fun--balance fun, wet fun, light fun,
reflex fun, reaction fun, electrical fun. Darkfriends shot at each
other's watergun streams. Novak demolished the world's climate
("Let's set the axis tilt to 90 degrees..."). Mark set up
hurricanes. Some darkfriends repeatedly crashed into the 45-degree
tilted walls in the warped-gravity house.

Two hours of good clean fun later, the Green Squadron (our mode of
transportation consisted of three cars following each other, all
various shades of green) returned to Maggie's place to drop the kids
and pick up Laura, who'd stayed home. Maggie's teenage neighbours
appeared to sit with the kids and Green Squadron was deployed once
more.

Kotobuki is a small restaurant with very prompt service and good
food. I had never thought I'd eat octopus, but having ordered mixed
sushi, I lived with my decision.

Me-- Choke, gasp, attack the water glass--
Mark -- "I see she's discovered the wasabi."

After the ginger ice-cream (mmmmm), we piled back into the cars.
A contingent split in search of shakes. We converged back on
Maggie's place, margaritas were mixed and Laura's anime tapes were
popped in.

They were Wicked.

I sort of missed the ending of the last one, though, because
Novak's shoulder was too comfortable and I was tired...

Next morning, I woke up as the last person, Darryl having left;
first I thought the conversation drifting to my (sleepy) ears was
something on the television. Novak's and Jeff Huo's voices were
very... profound, I guess. I staggered to the living room into the
midst of a discussion about AIDS research. It was, like most of the
scattered conversations over the weekend about almost everything
under the sun, interesting and informative.

Maggie's Creme Brulee French Toast was........ Maggie, recipe? :-)

Alas, things might not have beginnings but some of them do have an
end, and facing a 10 hour drive back, the Marylanders had to start
back soon after... We followed a different route back, and it was
sometimes heavy rain instead of fog this time, but everyone returned
safely.

*** Experimental Results

Note about the data extraction procedu Since I was there
before the Keeper of the Chronicles, I started taking notes in her
stead. When she arrived, it was decided that I should continue
also, for better coverage. Some of the data points were obtained by
using the "shamelessly take out of context" technique.

* About how "Novak" is pronounced: "I don't care if he says it's
pronounced 'Sarah', I am not going to argue." -- Laura

* The sign on an auto body shop somewhere in PA:
Picasso Auto Body (the implications about mental images are
left as an exercise to the reader)

* - Kenn: I didn't drop that glass! I set it down...
- Novak: ...in midair...

* About being "Mormonized": "...I'd just got up, hair all over the
place, scruffly beard, t-shirt, shorts; look through the peephole,
cute women! Open the door---_oh, ****_." -- Novak

* About Maggie's kids running around and around chasing each other:
- Zeynep: It's like having cats, only taller.
- Novak: Cats with opposable thumbs?

* "Don't invoke the children." -- Novak

* "Food never looks quite as good coming out of your mouth as it
does going in." -- Kenn

* "The History Channel--or should I say, the war, femine and
pestilence channel." -- Ray

* "I find random strangers' laps the most interesting..." -- Leah

* About what "compassionate conservationism" is:
"We kicked your ass in gentleness." -- Jeff

* "I think M&M is kicking Lego's ass." -- Pam

* Reading Leah's quote book: "I didn't say that." -- Kenn

* In a "Sixth Sense" voice: "I see dumb people..." -- Novak

* "Kill You". -- Embroidery behind a bad guy's robe in
DragonBallZ
* "Wicked" -- The Japanese character embroidered behind
a good guy's robe in Kimshin

* Seeing a very bright yellow house:
- Kenn: Somebody needs to get in line with the rest of the
block...
- Anne: Yes. Drab, dammit, drab!

* "[Steve] licked my glasses!" -- Maggie

* "Fractal Entymology: The fine art of pulling words out of your ass."
-- Steve

* "Don't think of that as lynching, think of it as sense beaten into
you with vigour." -- Jeff

* After "contacting" wasabi: "Can I have some more of that soy
sauce? Like, half a liter?"
-- Zeynep

* "There are certain things you don't do with baseball bats!"
-- Jeff

* "You have remarkably low taste in gods." -- Jeff

* "Do you bite my ass?" "No, sire, but I do bite somebody's ass."
-- Novak

* "Oh, no, not the Booger Flick of Doom!" -- Novak

* About asexual reproduction, Kenn to Jeff:
"I don't want to see you split in half, OK?"

* Watching a character get a beating in the anime movie:
"You fool, use up-down-up-down-A-B-Start!" -- Jeff

* Laura: There's something to be said about DragonballZ...
Mark: ...yes, it makes no sense!

* "We've got to start a commune." -- Maggie

*** Conclusions

Darkfriends are wonderful people. Other Darkfriends were with us
in spirit, and, extrapolating from what I've seen, I'm going to
assume the wonders haven't ceased yet.

I should make a positive effort to attend future socials.

In fact, it being conclusively proven to me that an apartment
social is feasible, I'm beginning to Get Ideas--I have an apartment.
Only, I can't cook worth beans next to Maggie. That might be a
problem...

*** Acknowledgements

I owe thanks to a lot of people.

To Maggie and Mark, for opening their home to us. To Maggie,
again, for getting it all rolling, and for being the focal point for
all those wonderful people.

To Ray Chason, for making it possible for me to attend.

To all the Darkfriends in attendance for the laughs, the
conversations, the wittiness, the sharing-of-experiences, the
backrubs and the fun in general...

--
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Zeynep Dilli
"All You Need Is Love"

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