Tex wrote:

Rush Limbaugh is not really a conservative. He's just an actor playing
one on the radio. He started his career in radio by playing Jeff
Cristy, a wanabee cool rock 'n' roll DJ. The untalented slob got fired
twice as Jeff Cristy.

Fearing he might actually have to work for a living, the fat ass re-
invented himself into Rush Limbaugh the ultra-conservative. A
desperate attempt to salvage a career in the medium he had theretofore
so dismally failed at. He later confessed that he was astonished that
the public actually bought it. "I over estimated the intelligence of
the dumbed down American public" he smirked in an unguarded moment of
candor. "I wasn't even registered to vote!" he roared.

Evolving his role into errand boy for the corporate elite
rulers (his crowning moment being rescuing the doomed NAFTA treaty
that has wiped out the American middle class),
he continues to convincingly pretend that he is on the side of "the
little guy, the worker, and the red white and blue patriots of this
great country."

In appreciation for his yeoman like work on their behalf, his
corporate masters have rewarded the failed DJ with a record breaking
$400 million contract that will keep him on the air until the year
2016. "This is exactly where I want to be, doing what I was born to
do" he chirped as he smoked a $100 Cuban cigar banned for import by
the US government, but laws are for "the peasantry, not us elite""
Rush chortled.

Banned now perhaps, but there are sites on the internet that actually sell
pre-ban Cuban cigars which have ostensibly been stored (in humidors of course)
for years which are indeed available for sale, at a price of course.

Jealous are you, 'Tex'?