RadioBanter - I'm Home

I'm Home,
What a day. I found out I am important. To make a short story long this
is how it went.
I was just going to get a bite to eat so I didn’t carry a water bottle
or anything but had my little riding shorts and shoes, and away I went.
I got to this nice little eating place where I locked my bike to the
rail, took off gloves, helmet and sunglasses. Walked over and like to
have pulled the handle off the door and broke two nails to find out the
place was closed.
I thought I would ride to a Carl’s Jr. and get the low carb burger. So
I took off to go around the Ontario Airport, as I started around I
thought I would take a look at the new airport, I have flown out of it
many times but never got a good look at it.
So I cut into the new airport and started riding around looking at all
the new sites and runways and stuff when I noticed a Fed-Ex BIG Plane
pull up and turn and it looked like the pilot was waving at me out the
window so I waved back, he sure liked my bike and gear because he held
up one finger meaning I was number one, I waved at him some more (boy
those planes sure are big up close).
The airport people sure were glad I came by; I looked in my rear view
mirror and noticed I had a police escort right behind me with lights,
the nice young officer was hanging out the window waving at me so I
waved back at him. As I went by the new terminal people were waving and
saying “hang in there old man” I didn’t like the old man part but I
figured it was all a gesture of love so I waved and keep peddling.
Before long two real nice young police officers came up beside me on
real nice mountain bikes with red lights, the offices had on shorts and
gun belts and batons and everything, nice looking young men. They rode
with me a little ways then asked me to pull over that they liked my bike
and wanted to take a better look so I pulled over and stopped.
They sure liked my bike and another officer had a big black dog that
ran up to me, I thought he was going to pee on my bike but he just
smelled the big black bag on the back of my bike before the nice bike
office opened it. They seemed to be real nice to me until they looked in
my helmet and saw the tinfoil liner I was using for An Aluminum Foil
Deflector Beanie (AFDB) then they got real serious for a few minutes. A
nice sergeant came by and he asked the bike officers to ride home with
me to be sure I made it ok and not to let me take to many short cuts on
the way.
I told them that I was on my way to get a burger at Carl’s Jr. and I
offered to buy if they wanted to go with me so away we went, those two
guys were real good riders and had no trouble keeping up with me. I rode
around the end of the airport and wanted to stop and look at all the new
UPS planes but the officers said they didn’t have time today they were
hungry so maybe we should just go eat.
We were cutting through a bunch of warehouses when I rode between some
safety cones and the next thing I knew I was in the middle of a lot of
guys all dressed in racing clothes and riding big buck bikes, two of
them grabbed me and pulled me right along with then and we went around
these two big city blocks two times before I came flying out of the
group and ran off on another street were all these people were holding
something called the “Pacific Sunset Velo Dare Race”.
I took off up the street and got away from there as fast as I could go,
I don’t know what happened to the cops but after three blocks here come
those two nice police officers again. Boy were they a mess, the first
one bad his gun belt turned around until it looked like a jock strip, he
was missing three spokes where his baton had got into his wheel making
his wheel track funny, the other one had his pants about pulled off him,
his right boot was sole less where he had got it into his spokes and his
wheel was wobbling about five inches as he rode as hard as he could to
catch up with me.
I must say right here that I had to rethink my opinion of those young
men, they cussed me and called me a crazy old man right to my face. They
said they thought it was best if I just went home right now that they
had all my BS they wanted.
I turned towards my house and started pulling against the wind and
those two young men were sure having a hard time keeping up with those
bikes “they” had messed up. When I got a few blocks from the house I
started to take a short cut across the railroad yard but those guys got
real upset and I was getting a little tired of them complaining all the
time anyway I just went through the underpasses and into my yard, the
nice young cops didn’t wave good bye or anything as they rode off but
they must have got some flies or something in there eyes because they
were sure shaking their heads.

Burr
#6

PS: I think their sergeant bad to pick them up in a truck because their
bikes wouldn’t go much further.