"Curmudgeon" curmudg@eon wrote in message
...
On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:57:08 -0400, dxAce wrote:

Can you kiss my ass, Dickhead?


A very interesting proposition. It kind of turns me on because, as
you know, I am gay.

Can we meet somewhere private if you're serious? I'll even give you a
complete rim job if you want.

While all our readers of RRS are contemplating this
ongoing flame war being carried on no doubt by
some ex-14313 QRM'ers that RH banished from
ham radio, her is something very amusing to read
that I found in another ng. "enjoy! ya've earned it!"

----------- cut here with ur teeth --------------------

On 18 Jun 2004 00:29:41 GMT, onkeypo (Rev. Richard
Skull) wrote:

If a bear ****s in the woods, and no one is
around to hear it. Does the Pope
make a noise when he steps in it....?



The bear is understandably *pleased* with himself for having taken such
an existentially-ambiguous dump. Just then, the little bald kid from
The Matrix appears and says "there is no dump".

The bear, being a real bear and not Keanu Reeves, is having none of
this California surfer boy pothead crap, and so he eats the kid.

This unfortunately creates a logical paradox, because the sound of a
dump being taken can't exist unless it is measured by an observer,
which it was, but since the observer has been eaten and nobody can
measure him, the sound of the dump both exists and doesn't exist.

The Pope hears about this and is understandably worried. The
simultaneous existence and non-existence of a dump sound is
impossible, and would thus disprove the existence of God, or would at
least prove that he is either not all-powerful or not all-good or at
least that he shouldn't let little bald kids get eaten by bears,
really.

I mean everybody feels sorry for little bald kids.

So since the Pope is, by Catholic dogma, infallible, he declares the
bear to be non-existant.

BUT THE BEAR ISN'T A CATHOLIC! And therefore he isn't having any of
THAT crap either.

This causes the universe to split into two independant alternate
realities; one in which the bear exists but not the Pope, and the
other in which the Pope exists but not the bear.

Into the crack between the worlds in that split nano hepto millisecond
before the realities fly away forever, appears JR "Bob" Dobbs, because
he is also both real and not real, and so is naturally between the
two.

Thinking quickly, "Bob" jams his pipes between the worlds, holding
them together, and then quickly builds a secret road between them,
which surfaces in the mysterious catacombs beneath Subgenius world
headquarters.

He then blackmails the Vatican for outrageous sums to keep quiet about
the other world, and simultaneously charges Catholics to go to the
no-Pope reality where they can **** like bunnies without committing a
sin, and as always, "Bob" reaps an incredible fortune while screwing
over the pinks as a result.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH ...

--
J C

"The (doughnut) hole is there, we know it is, but
you can't see it, you can't feel it. You cannot prove
its existence, and yet by its very existence it defines
and shapes the doughnut. Therefore, I believe the
hole is the soul of a doughnut. When you eat a
doughnut, you have fulfilled its reason for
existing, and you set free its immortal soul --the hole.
Woe to those half-eaten doughnuts whose souls
are doomed to purgatory, and those stale, unbitten
doughnuts whose immortal lives will continue in
doughnut hell!" (..no doubt run by 5 Indians named "Patel")
...
- Teddi Deppner