Go placidly amid the noise & waste, & remember what comfort there may
be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you
are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those
greater than yourself and heed well their advice even though they be
turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never
make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment and
despite the changing fortunes of time, there will always be a big
future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all
times to bend, fold, spindle, & mutilate. Know yourself; if you need
help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially
with those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for
instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would
scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick
to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean
air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe;
you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the
universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your
God whatever you conceive Him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises & urban renewal, the world
continues to deteriorate. Give up.

By Tony Hendra - 1972

"David" wrote in message
...
Go placidly amid the noise & waste, & remember what comfort there may
be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you
are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those
greater than yourself and heed well their advice even though they be
turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never
make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment and
despite the changing fortunes of time, there will always be a big
future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all
times to bend, fold, spindle, & mutilate. Know yourself; if you need
help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially
with those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for
instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would
scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick
to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean
air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe;
you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the
universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your
God whatever you conceive Him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises & urban renewal, the world
continues to deteriorate. Give up.

By Tony Hendra - 1972

Ahh, "Deteriorata" from National Lampoon.....cd

"David" wrote in message
...
Go placidly amid the noise & waste, & remember what comfort there may
be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you
are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those
greater than yourself and heed well their advice even though they be
turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never
make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment and
despite the changing fortunes of time, there will always be a big
future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all
times to bend, fold, spindle, & mutilate. Know yourself; if you need
help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially
with those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for
instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would
scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick
to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean
air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe;
you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the
universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your
God whatever you conceive Him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises & urban renewal, the world
continues to deteriorate. Give up.

By Tony Hendra - 1972

Also:

When in trouble
Or in doubt
Run in circles
Scream and shout.

Dave