In article ,
Scott en Aztl?n wrote:
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:00:51 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:
The day they are the ones who will go to jail when they screw up is
the day I stop caring what they say to their friends on the phone.
My kids are now all 18 and older, and I have not stopped caring.
I'm glad to no longer be "on the hook", but I still care passionately.
If I thought invading their privacy at this point would serve any useful
purpose, I'd do it.
You gotta draw the line at some point. Where will that be for you?
Caring? Never. My mom still cares about what *I'm* doing, and I'm 52.
In other cases, the parents CAN still be held responsible no matter how
old the "kid" is -- for example, if my car or house are found to have
illegal drugs in them, I could still be fined or have my property
confiscated, even if I didn't know they were there.
That's only a problem if you plan to have your adult children still
living in your home as opposed to away at college or on their own. If
they are at college but they stay with you during semester breaks and
over the summer, then I would consider them not yet fully adult and
continue to monitor them as necessary.
Two of my adult children DO still live with me, because I can't afford
to send them to 4 year colleges. They live at home, and attend a local
community college -- and I support them, as do many parents of college
age kids.
I'm one of those "bleeding heart liberals" (though I much prefer to
think of myself as progressive). The only thing I find offensive about
your statement is that you stopped caring. I don't think I'll EVER stop
caring!
I never said I'd stop caring about the kids, I said I'd stop caring
what they were talking about on the phone - unless they gave me
probable cause to be suspicious, of course. 
You SAID you stopped caring about what they were doing once their
behavior would no longer put you on the hook legally. Now you're saying
that, if they gave you cause to be suspicious, you'd still care enough
to eavesdrop. Can't have it both ways -- and I'm saying that, if I
thought listening in on their phone calls now would be helpful in any
way, I'd still do it.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care