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Scott en Aztl?n wrote: On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:00:51 GMT, dragonlady wrote: The day they are the ones who will go to jail when they screw up is the day I stop caring what they say to their friends on the phone. My kids are now all 18 and older, and I have not stopped caring. I'm glad to no longer be "on the hook", but I still care passionately. If I thought invading their privacy at this point would serve any useful purpose, I'd do it. You gotta draw the line at some point. Where will that be for you? Caring? Never. My mom still cares about what *I'm* doing, and I'm 52. In other cases, the parents CAN still be held responsible no matter how old the "kid" is -- for example, if my car or house are found to have illegal drugs in them, I could still be fined or have my property confiscated, even if I didn't know they were there. That's only a problem if you plan to have your adult children still living in your home as opposed to away at college or on their own. If they are at college but they stay with you during semester breaks and over the summer, then I would consider them not yet fully adult and continue to monitor them as necessary. Two of my adult children DO still live with me, because I can't afford to send them to 4 year colleges. They live at home, and attend a local community college -- and I support them, as do many parents of college age kids. I'm one of those "bleeding heart liberals" (though I much prefer to think of myself as progressive). The only thing I find offensive about your statement is that you stopped caring. I don't think I'll EVER stop caring! I never said I'd stop caring about the kids, I said I'd stop caring what they were talking about on the phone - unless they gave me probable cause to be suspicious, of course. ![]() You SAID you stopped caring about what they were doing once their behavior would no longer put you on the hook legally. Now you're saying that, if they gave you cause to be suspicious, you'd still care enough to eavesdrop. Can't have it both ways -- and I'm saying that, if I thought listening in on their phone calls now would be helpful in any way, I'd still do it. -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
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