"Dave Heil" wrote


Did you ever write for "Gearvakf" (the "f" is silent)?


Here's another of my favorites from Gearvakf, written by WA6ITF of WestLink


GEARVAKf Research Basis of No-Code Tape
---------------------------------------

Turlock, California-- April 32, 1989 - In a surprise announcement that has
completely rocked the foundation of the educational community, the Wet-Link
C.B. Radio Network has prematurely introduced a new "No-Code CW Training Tape
Cassette' which was developed using lack of research material supplied by the
world famous Gorbinsky Learning and Forgetting Center of Ohio.

This GEARVAKf-sponsored facility is the hub of the GEARVAKf-funded
research into "things."

In a 1955 report authored two decades before the center was opened, it's
former Director of Research Into Things, Dr. R. U. Kidding, PhD. (phud), posed
the question: "Why is the sky blue and what does this have to do with learning
morse code?"

Using grant monies provided by the GEARVAKf Grant Monies Institute to
Research Things, Dr. Kidding attempted to contact the late Samuel F.B. Morse
to ascertain the answer. By 1966, Dr. Kidding had discovered that Morse had
been dead for several decades and therefore was not a plausable source for
garnering his information.

While Dr. Kidding never did learn why the sky is blue, his 1979 paper
titled "To Code or Not to Code--Is That a Question?" went unnoticed by the
communications community for almost two decades, mainly because it as written
in a VIC-20 computer, printed in 23-letter columns, and looked like a grocery
list. The paper was resurrected about four days ago by the production staff
at Wet-Link C.B. Radio as an excuse to put out a useless tape cassette to
teach people No-Code at 0 WPM. Hosted by Niles East, the cassette is designed
to instruct the listener and impart enough knowledge so that he or she can
pass the Morse Code portion of the FCC No-Code ham radio exam.

Since nobody in their right or left mind would buy such trash, the only way
to get one is at the WESTLINK REPORT/220 NOTES booth at the 1989
AmateurRadioVention in Dayton, Ohio. The tapes are almost for free, but not
quite. GEARVAKf members are advised to show their lack of ID cards while non-
members need not.

-- WA6ITF