)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(
Winners! Civility Awards, August 2006
)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(


Smartest Man / Woman in the Universe
------------------------------------
The winner is: nightbat!

3 nightbat
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Fred Hall
1 HVAC
1 Charles Bohne


Handsomest Man on the Planet
----------------------------
The winner is: nightbat!

2 nightbat
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Fred Hall
1 HVAC
1 Bert Glazier
1 Charles Bohne


Most Beautiful Woman on the Planet
----------------------------------
The winner is: Officer Twitty!

2 Officer Twitty
1 Kali
1 Fred Hall
1 Twonky
1 Cujo
1 None of the Above


Novel Idea of the Month
-----------------------
The winner is: nightbat!

2 nightbat
1 Fred Hall
1 Not the Mad Inventor
1 Officer RL Coffee Boy **** Duty Hat
1 Holly:
You are absolutely certifiably nutz and so is Rhonda/Fred
Hall/Lee/Kirk. Begone damned spot.


Most Helpful Answer to a Question
---------------------------------
It's a six-way tie!

1 Card XII:
You, on the other hand, need to have a glass plate inserted in
your belly so you can see where you're walking.
1 Fly Cooter (satire of Fred Hall):
My nutsack burns like fire at all hours of the night.
1 HVAC:
How much dick do you suck per day?
On average.
1 The "saucerheads":
The Seans Will Land Someday
1 MCP:
ChadwickStone = Resident Cocksucker of AUKers!
1 nightbat:
Get A Life People


Courageous Hero of the Month
----------------------------
It's a tie between nightbat and Double-A!

2 nightbat
2 Double-A
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Fred Hall
1 HVAC


Flamewar Diffusing Award
------------------------
Another six-way tie!

1 Time
1 Fred Hall
1 HVAC
1 Captain Bert
1 Double-A (Continuously resists the hate and tyranny of Art Deco)
1 nightbat


Inspiring Quote of the Month
----------------------------
Another six-way tie!

1 Au (satire of Tony Blair):
It is right that all children (except celebrities and politicians), should
be on a Nazi database, to help paedophiles find their next victims, and for
New Liebour to make sure the children grow up to vote "the right way."
1 Fly Cooter (satire of Fred Hall):
My nutsack yearns for Snarky's tongue.
1 HVAC:
How much dick do you suck per day?
On average.
1 The "saucerheads":
Join The Team Of Elite Science Officers
1 Kadaitcha Man:
Huh? I have no dick.
1 nightbat:
The Field Is Reciprocal Unto Itself


Best Signature
--------------
The winner is: nightbat!

3 nightbat:
dismissed,
the nightbat
1 Rasta Khan:
--
http://www.kotm.biz
http://www.petitmorte.net.tc

RASTA KHAN - The Supreme OverLord of alt.config and alt.kookologist.*


Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts.

_
,;;;
.;;||:.
:;;|||::
,;;;;;||::.
,;;;;;||||||:.
,;;;;|||||||||||.
,;;;||!!!!!!!|||||.
,;;;;|!!!!!!!!!|||||
;;;;!!!!!!!!!!!!|||||
|;;;;;/~\!!!,'~\!!||||
:;;;;;| |!!| |!!|||
:;;;;;;-._;!!`._/!!!!|`.
|;;;;;;|||!!;;;!!||!!|||
____ |;;;;;|||!!;;;|||!!||,'
,- _ _`, |;;;|||!!!;;|||!!||/ ~-.__
/'/~; ; ; ) _--`;;;|||!!!;;|||!!,' "" __.--.\
| ( .---~~--._ _.-~:"" `:;|||!!;;;|||/' ".-~~ `.\
`. ((.;~---._ `-. ,' :"" `:|!!;;;;/' " ; :|.
: ((;##### `-. :,' :"""" |!!;;;/ "" .' __ ;||
: #####| `; `-._ :"""" ||!!;/ "" .' .' ,:||
| ### | `. `-._:""""" `!!!: " : ';||
| ### . `-. `-._____.----'~~~`'`. '|"|
| ### : `. ; .'"||
| ### ; `._ _____ _ .'"|||
| __ \ | |
| |__) | __ _ ___ | |_ __ _
| _ / / _` |/ __|| __| / _` |
| | \ \ | (_| |\__ \| |_ | (_| |
|_| \_\ \__,_||___/ \__| \__,_|


_ __ _
| |/ /| |
| ' / | |__ __ _ _ __
| | '_ \ / _` || '_ \
| . \ | | | || (_| || | | |
|_|\_\|_| |_| \__,_||_| |_|
1 HVAC:
--
"Twonky can't count to ten without ****ing it up" -TimK Of course
1 nightbat (satire of Saul):
Saul---Clueless As Ever
1 None of the Above


Most Accurate Information
-------------------------
The winner is: nightbat!

4 nightbat
1 Fred Hall
1 HVAC
1 Double-A


Other Awards
------------
These are awards that have been suggested by other posters.
They are not necessarily endorsed by the United Front.


For succeeding in living three minutes on the minimum wage

The winner is: Congress!

2 Congress
1 Fred Hall
1 Twonky
1 None of the Above


Dumbest man in the Universe

The winner is: Art Deco!

2 Art Deco
1 Bush
1 Gary L Burnore
1 Twonky


Stupidest Idea of the month

It's a four-way tie!

1 By Bush: more power for USA, less power
for arabs
1 Fred Hall remembered to wash his nutsack
1 The Mad Inventor
1 Sean Monaghan:
Art Deco is an AFA-B Vote Rustler, and AFA-B Vote Rustlers were granted
permanent immunity by Phoenix before he retired from Usenet.


Biggest chicken

The winner is: Art Deco!

2 Art Deco
1 Bush
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Smitty


Least accurate information

The winner is: Art Deco!

2 Art Deco
1 anything from bush
1 Insurgent.org
1 Twonky


Most mentally retarded Alpine Nazi goat humper

It's a tie between Chuckweasel C Boner and Art Deco!

2 Chuckweasel C Boner
2 AUK Coffee Boys
1 Jamie "DrPostman" Eckles
1 Michael Baldwin Bruce
1 Art Deco


Dictionary pic beside "penis"

The winner is: Art Deco!

2 Art Deco
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Dr. Flonkenstein
1 Twonky


Greatest Idiots On The Net

The winner is: "AUK coffeeboys"!

5 "AUK coffeeboys"
1 the news.groupers fish mouth motions
1 Art Deco for Best Concocked shive in the Back!
1 Twonky


Awards Not Given Out
--------------------
These awards were not given out. On some of these awards, I have cast a
tie-breaking vote for "None of the Above". These votes are indicated with an
asterisk, and are the only votes I have cast.


Best suicide post-it note
2 None of the Above
1 Svetlana Nevski
1 Twonky


Lambeador motht modetht in victory
2* None of the Above
1 chuck lysaght with his head cut off.
1 Fred Hall
1 Twonky


The world's simplest alphabet
2* None of the Above
1 Two way penograms
1 Snarky's home dialect
1 Twonky +/-


The world's most mismatched nostrils, often likened to a missile silo and
that big pore on your aunt's left cheek.
2 None of the Above
1 Peter J Ross
1 Twonky


The healthest cereal in existence -- composed of sixty-five high grain
fibers and comes with a free Depends.
2* None of the Above
1 Testiclees Moulton
1 Twonky Crunch
1 Art's Oats: For old farts!


The works worst hairlball coughed up by politics
2* None of the Above
1 Missionaries on mars
1 John Henry DeJong
1 Twonky


Figured out Jean Paul Sartre was a
figment of Pinkie Lee's imagination years before Albert Camus.
2* None of the Above
1 Efro Efrop from Freemont, Kentucky
1 Fred Hall
1 Twonky


A stripper so dedidicated she cause a vomit flood
while giving birth to twins during a pole dance.
2* None of the Above
1 Happy McKneel
1 Sharon B
1 Sasha
1 Kali


Most curliest cock
2* None of the Above
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Fred Hall
1 The Mad Inventor


Ugliest man on the Planet
2* None of the Above
1 Bush
1 Dr. R. Vince "Pinu-Sensei" Lamb
1 Twonky!
1 Art Deco


Least helpful
2* None of the Above
1 Bush
1 Art Deco
1 HVAC


Skinhead award
2* None of the Above
1 Bush
1 Cujo DeSockpuppet
1 UB


Worst signature
2* None of the Above
1 Gregory Brush
1 Art Deco
1 Twonky


BeSTedestor Pen0r
2* None of the Above
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Meat Plow
1 Twonky


MOStedoreo picSSS oF teH PEnor
2* None of the Above
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Russell B Waters
1 Twonky


BIGGest SpAnK of aris humor
2* None of the Above
1 Dave Hillstrom
1 Sean Monaghan
1 Twonky


-- Nth Complexity --
-- Have A Nice Day! --
"However, these criteria, admirable as they are, are insufficient
for a *liberatory* postmodern science: they liberate human beings
from the tyranny of 'absolute truth' and 'objective reality', but
not necessarily from the tyranny of other human beings. In Andrew
Ross' words, we need a science 'that will be publicly answerable
and of some service to progressive interests.'" -- A.D.S.





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