V.E.C. wrote:
NO-CODER LICENSE APPLICATION and EXAM

I bet you fought AM and SSB too.

ORIGINAL MESSAGE:

On Mon, 31 Jul 2006 07:46:22 GMT, "A.E. 352"
wrote:

YAWN... and to think that the 'Liberty Net' folks had to pass a harder test
than this dribble.

------------ REPLY SEPARATOR ------------

Be nice. I thought it was a great spoof.

Bill, W6WRT
20 wpm extra

The VE I blew for my ticket wouldn't like that very much.

"V.E.C." wrote in message
...

NO-CODER LICENSE APPLICATION and EXAM

(Simplified test approved by all book and magazine publi$her$ and
VE whorehou$e$ who $ay "We need more ham$")

Please PRINT (that means no squiggly lines)

YOUR NAME (what they call you)
__________________________________________

ADDRESS (where you live) _______________________________________________

BIRTHDATE (when you were born) ________________________________

EXAM

Instructions: Make a circle (one of these round things O ) around the
letter of the best answer! This is so we know what your answer to the
question is!

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.

A. Hands
B. Feet
C. Toes
D. Mouth
E. Armpits

2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.

A. the front
B. the back
C. the top
D. the bottom
E. the wire

3. "HEADPHONES" are worn over the ___________.

A. Knees
B. Eyes
C. Toes
D. Ears
E. Lips

4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power

5. A "two meter" radio is:

A. twice as strong as a one-meter radio
B. two one-meter radios in series
C. a CB with two meters on the front panel
D. a good doorstop
E. yo mama

6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?

A. Ten feet
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. yo mama

7. A "Triband antenna" is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
E. 10

8. The "Marconi" antenna is named after:

A. Marconi
B. Mantovani
C. macaroni
D. Dean Martin
E. yo mama

9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license because you have been mean to me.
E. I have no intention of ever using DIODES, so I should get my
license for free.

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license and free slurpees forever because you
have been mean to me.

END OF EXAM.

YOUR SIGNATURE (slap yo tag here)
_________________________________________

Scoring:

Get THREE correct and you get an EXTRA!!!!
Get TWO right and you get an ADVANCED!!!!
Get ONE right and you get a GENERAL!!!
Blow them all? Just blow the VE and get any license you want!!!

On 2006-07-30, V.E.C. wrote:

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.


I don't use microphones, I am a digital operator.


2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.


See above...

3. “HEADPHONES” are worn over the ___________.


See above...


4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power


Usually E, but if you have about 17 feet of it you could use it to build a
20m dipole, so A or D is a possibility


5. A “two meter” radio is:
D. a good doorstop

D -- Unless you are using it for APRS


6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?

A. Ten feet
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. yo mama

120 inches




7. A “Triband antenna” is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
E. 10

None of the above -- It will radiate on all bands, just better on 3 of them,
so it depends on your defination of "works".




8. The “Marconi” antenna is named after:


Andrew Jameson's grandson



9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?


Radio Shack does not sell diodes anymore....

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license and free slurpees forever because you
have been mean to me.

red, green, blue, orange, yellow, brown, white and purple

R. Scott wrote:
V.E.C. wrote:
NO-CODER LICENSE APPLICATION and EXAM

I bet you fought AM and SSB too.
and CW itself (in favor of Spark)

AE +++++++++

Boy is he smart!!!!!!

ab2rc wrote:

On 2006-07-30, V.E.C. wrote:

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.



I don't use microphones, I am a digital operator.



2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.



See above...


3. “HEADPHONES” are worn over the ___________.



See above...


4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power



Usually E, but if you have about 17 feet of it you could use it to build a
20m dipole, so A or D is a possibility



5. A “two meter” radio is:
D. a good doorstop


D -- Unless you are using it for APRS


6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?

A. Ten feet
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. yo mama


120 inches




7. A “Triband antenna” is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
E. 10


None of the above -- It will radiate on all bands, just better on 3 of them,
so it depends on your defination of "works".




8. The “Marconi” antenna is named after:



Andrew Jameson's grandson



9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?



Radio Shack does not sell diodes anymore....

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license and free slurpees forever because you
have been mean to me.


red, green, blue, orange, yellow, brown, white and purple

Somehow, this makes much more sense that a worthless CW exam.

V.E.C. wrote:
NO-CODER LICENSE APPLICATION and EXAM

(Simplified test approved by all book and magazine publi$her$ and
VE whorehou$e$ who $ay “We need more ham$”)

Please PRINT (that means no squiggly lines)

YOUR NAME (what they call you)
__________________________________________

ADDRESS (where you live) _______________________________________________

BIRTHDATE (when you were born) ________________________________

EXAM

Instructions: Make a circle (one of these round things O ) around the
letter of the best answer! This is so we know what your answer to the
question is!

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.

A. Hands
B. Feet
C. Toes
D. Mouth
E. Armpits

2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.

A. the front
B. the back
C. the top
D. the bottom
E. the wire

3. “HEADPHONES” are worn over the ___________.

A. Knees
B. Eyes
C. Toes
D. Ears
E. Lips

4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power

5. A “two meter” radio is:

A. twice as strong as a one-meter radio
B. two one-meter radios in series
C. a CB with two meters on the front panel
D. a good doorstop
E. yo mama

6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?

A. Ten feet
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. yo mama

7. A “Triband antenna” is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
E. 10

8. The “Marconi” antenna is named after:

A. Marconi
B. Mantovani
C. macaroni
D. Dean Martin
E. yo mama

9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license because you have been mean to me.
E. I have no intention of ever using DIODES, so I should get my
license for free.

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license and free slurpees forever because you
have been mean to me.

END OF EXAM.

YOUR SIGNATURE (slap yo tag here)
_________________________________________

Scoring:

Get THREE correct and you get an EXTRA!!!!
Get TWO right and you get an ADVANCED!!!!
Get ONE right and you get a GENERAL!!!
Blow them all? Just blow the VE and get any license you want!!!

Dave wrote:

AE +++++++++

Boy is he smart!!!!!!


No, it's "Yo he be smart" or "He are smart"



ab2rc wrote:

On 2006-07-30, V.E.C. wrote:

1. You TALK into a microphone with your _______.



I don't use microphones, I am a digital operator.



2. When you talk into a microphone, you talk into _______.



See above...


3. “HEADPHONES” are worn over the ___________.



See above...


4. What do you do with the AC line cord coming out of a power supply?

A. Hold it in the air to pick up signals
B. Pull on it to start the motor
C. Talk into the plug to get real "skip DX"
D. Hook it to your antenna
E. Insert the plug into a source of power



Usually E, but if you have about 17 feet of it you could use it to
build a
20m dipole, so A or D is a possibility



5. A “two meter” radio is:
D. a good doorstop



D -- Unless you are using it for APRS


6. A "ten-foot mast" is how long?

A. Ten feet
B. Ten pounds
C. Two meters
D. Tree-top tall
E. yo mama



120 inches




7. A “Triband antenna” is made to work on how many bands?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
E. 10



None of the above -- It will radiate on all bands, just better on 3 of
them,
so it depends on your defination of "works".



8. The “Marconi” antenna is named after:



Andrew Jameson's grandson



9. What colors of DIODES can you buy at a Radio Shack store?



Radio Shack does not sell diodes anymore....

10. What color of SLURPEE can you buy at 7-11?

A. Red, blue and black
B. Red, yellow and green
C. Orange and brown
D. I am colorblind so this is a discriminatory question and I should
automatically get my license and free slurpees forever because you
have been mean to me.



red, green, blue, orange, yellow, brown, white and purple