Now that Lloyd has left the Internet, he will almost certainly be a lot
happier. He had to meet the right girl first, but when he did, he
realized that no one here has anything of worth for him, and so he left.

My only regret is that Lloyd did not take my advice to sue several of
you for libel (cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slander_and_libel) and
harassment (cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment). One
individual in particular should have been the target of both a criminal
complaint and a law suit, but Lloyd was too forgiving and he let him go.

Strangely enough, it almost seems that there really is something called
karma at work in the world (cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma).
Lloyd's principal harasser developed a profound, nervous lisp over the
years, and he is now said to live in irrational fear of Scandinavian
women (cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandinavian). He has been
attending therapy sessions almost every weekend, but his lisp still
refuses to go away, much to his embarrassment and shame.

(Cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embarrassment; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame)

His embarrassment and shame have caused him to become a shut-in (cf.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shut-in), thereby punishing him for his
sins against Lloyd.

May that individual never get over his nancygirl lisp, and may he
continue to be the laughingstock of his neighborhood.

(Cf. http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=nancygirl;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisp;
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/laughingstock)

-- Christy Davies