RadioBanter - Help the Animals

"MnMikew" wrote in message ...
Beef. It's whats for dinner!
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Hmm...that explains why you can't get it up. How sad but so deserving.
Melvin

The Three Stages of a Wiener
http://www.goveg.com/feat/l-wiener.html
This Little Piggy …

… is one of 120 million pigs killed every year in the U.S. to
become bacon, sausage, ham, and-yes-wieners. These smart, friendly
animals are raised in huge, filthy factory farms. Breeding sows are
impregnated several times during their miserable lives, and with each
pregnancy, they display increasingly severe signs of distress. (They
have one of the longest lives of any farmed animal-that's what makes
their torture so horrible.) During their 15-week pregnancies, the sows
are confined to narrow metal stalls, kept in the dark, and fed a
restricted diet, resulting in chronic hunger. While nursing, they are
held practically immobile in stalls with no room to turn around or to
properly care for their babies, who are just weeks old when they're
sent off to become bacon. Very often, the only opportunity to breathe
fresh air comes during their grueling ride to the slaughterhouse,
where workers jab metal hooks and metal prods into pigs' eyes, mouths,
or rectums in order to force them to move faster to the killing floor.
Countless pigs, improperly stunned at the slaughterhouse, are fully
conscious as they are cut open and skinned.

Becomes This Little Wiener …
… made of pig lips, snouts, feet, and other miscellaneous parts
that barely squeak into the United States Department
of.Agriculture’s (USDA) list of “still edible” parts
(remember that “USDA-approved” meat is almost guaranteed
to contain some feces). That hot-dog makers put their products through
metal detectors doesn’t prevent screws, other metal bits of
machinery—even bits of glass—from making it to consumers.
Hot dogs are full of nitrates to keep them from rotting on the shelf,
but allowing those fat-laden, cholesterol missiles to rot in your body
ups your chances for life-threatening diseases, such as cancer,
stroke, and heart disease.

… That Makes It Harder for Your Wiener to Get Jiggy
Artery-clogging cholesterol from hot dogs and other animal products
slows blood flow to important organs like your heart—and your
penis. The most common cause of decreased blood flow to a man’s,
er, silly sausage is atherosclerosis, a form of arteriosclerosis, or
hardening of the arteries—which makes it harder to harden when
he finds he’s in the mood for love. The controllable risk
factors for arteriosclerosis, including high cholesterol and high
blood pressure, will often produce erectile failure before affecting
the heart.

Slimmer, sexy vegetarians also have the upper hand when it comes to
stamina and increased blood flow to those oh-so-vital organs. And
let’s face it—a man who stuffs his belly full of dead pigs
in the kitchen only to deliver dead wood in the bedroom becomes a big
bore.

With pork out of the grocery bag, maybe you can get porkin’.