From Rowboat Veterans for Truth
Friends and fellow countrymen, it's time to set the record straight.
"General" George Washington is no war-hero.

He¹s resting his entire campaign on his so-called heroics in the
Revolutionary War, and his famous Delaware River crossing.

Rowboat Vets for Truth is here to share the real story, to correct the
misleading use of our images, against our will, in paintings, woodcuts
and pamphlets across the colonies.

/Myths vs Facts/:
Myth: Crossing the Delaware took 9 hours because of the heavy artillery
taken along.

FACT: The crossing only took one hour, and it would have taken a lot
less time had Washington not insisted on bringing along an entire
furniture set he purchased the day before.

Myth: Washington claims to have tossed a silver dollar across the
Delaware, a river more than a mile wide.

FACT: Washington was a miserly ******* who never parted with money. In
addition, he threw like an English schoolgirl.

Myth: In Leutze¹s portrait, George Washington is presented as a tall
man.

FACT: The self-proclaimed general was a short Negro (and probably a
homosexual).

/Eyewitness Reports/:
³You never hear it mentioned in the biased liberal history books, but
the man often caught his wooden teeth on fire smoking his beloved
hempweed. Several times a week at least. Why do you think he was always
covering his teeth in portraits? I demand he release his dental
records!²
Dr. Hargrove Hampton, Dentist in the 101st Militia Regiment

/Press Reports/:
³America must act now to squash the native savages and villainous
French fur traders who terrorize the Western territories. George
Washington would wait to get France¹s permission before protecting our
people.²
Lady Annabelle Coulter
Savannah

--
Burr

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