them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.



Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with
parmesan
romano
salt
pepper
oregano
garlic powder
chopped parsley
Flour
eggwash (eggs and milk)
Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the cutlets.
Dredge in flour, eggs, then the bread crumb mixture.
Fry till golden brown in 350° peanut oil.
In a baking pan, place a layer of gravy,
then one of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Another layer each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350° for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.



Southern Fried Small-fry

Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting u

brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee

The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from
carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the
service stations.



Roast Leg of Amputee

By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!

1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock

Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
place the slices in the au jus.



Bisque Ã* l?Enfant

Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).

Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 stick

the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.



Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs

Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.

2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)
Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika

Remove the silverskin by loosening from the edges,
then stripping off.
Season generously, rubbing the mixture into the baby?s flesh.
Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack.
Bake uncovered in 250° oven for 1½ hours.
When browned, remove and glaze,
return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze.
Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.



Fresh Sausage

If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating
human babies, this is the perfect solution.
But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.

5 lb. lean chuck roast
3 lb. prime baby butt
2 tablespoons each:
salt
black, white and cay

cold water
1 egg beaten

Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps.
Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.



Lemon Neonate

Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or

batch cornbread stuffing (see index)
½ cup melted butter

Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
using ½ cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.



Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive and hot French bread is always available.

2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.



Holiday Youngster

One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented,
it violates no religious taboos against swine.

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves

Place h

Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.



Bébé Buffet 1

Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths -
and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.

Some suggestions

Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee

The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from
carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the
service stations.



Roast Leg of Amputee

By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!

1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock

Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts).
Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions,
and placing whole cloves deep into the meat.
Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions,
celery, green onions, and parsley.
Place roast on top with fat side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake

vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!



George?s Bloody Mary

Don?t shy away from this one, it is simply a cocktail variation of
good old Blood Stew. When a pig is killed, its throat is slit and
those present quaff a cup of hot blood to soften the wintry air.
From the dawn of man to this day, humans have always drunk blood!
American deer hunters are a prime example.

1 pint blood
Stolichnaya vodka
ice
tomato juice
lemon
lime
hot sauce
Worcestershire sauce
pickled green bean
celery
green olives
celery salt

Draw a pint of blood from a very young virgin,
female if possible, and chill.
In a tall glass pour 1 or 2 ounces of vodka,
then add 6 ounces each of blood and V8 or tomato juice.
Add ice and other ingredients, making it somewhat spicy.



Opiated Bloody Mary

When alcohol is not e

rare, yearling, or the
morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a
drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...

2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh
1 cup shredded cabbage
1 cup bean sprouts
5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped
5 cloves minced garlic
4-6 ounces bamboo shoots
Sherry
chicken broth
oil for deep frying (1 gallon)
Salt
pepper
soy & teriyaki
minced ginger, etc.
1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water
1 egg beaten

Make the stuffing:
Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces
then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove.
Stir-fry the vegetables.
Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning.
De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol.
Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes.
Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick,
then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;
2 hours
Wrap the rolls:
Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly -
corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for
a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps.
Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.



Lemon Neonate

Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a
well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into
cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human,
although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly
different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...

4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turk

"Dick" wrote in message
...
My Tek 465 scope has developed a minor but annoying fault in its
triggering circuitry but before diving into the guts of an old &
faithful friend I would appreciate it if anyone who has experienced
similar symptoms to those below could give me their thoughts on possible
causes & (more importantly) how they fixed their particular version of
the problem.

1) My scope just won't trigger in the A Normal mode although a stable
trace obtained in A Auto will remain displayed (and stable) in A Normal
until I touch either A Trigger slope or polarity controls.

2) I can stabilise a trace using the A Auto mode but only by adjusting
the A Trigger Hold-off control rather than the A Trigger slope/polarity
I would normally expect.

3) Everything appears to be triggering correctly when I use the B
Trigger.

4) All other scope functions appear to be OK.

I've checked these symptoms and they seem to be present what
ever type of signal I'm inputting - sine/square, 1kHz - 1MHz, Ch1 or
Ch2.

I've got a set of battered circuit diagrams & layout drawings so
should at least be able to follow up any ideas you experts might be able
to pass my way.

You need the Tekscopes group:

Leon

"Dick" schreef in bericht
...
My Tek 465 scope has developed a minor but annoying fault in its
triggering circuitry but before diving into the guts of an old &
faithful friend I would appreciate it if anyone who has experienced
similar symptoms to those below could give me their thoughts on possible
causes & (more importantly) how they fixed their particular version of
the problem.

1) My scope just won't trigger in the A Normal mode although a stable
trace obtained in A Auto will remain displayed (and stable) in A Normal
until I touch either A Trigger slope or polarity controls.

2) I can stabilise a trace using the A Auto mode but only by adjusting
the A Trigger Hold-off control rather than the A Trigger slope/polarity
I would normally expect.

3) Everything appears to be triggering correctly when I use the B
Trigger.

4) All other scope functions appear to be OK.

I've checked these symptoms and they seem to be present what
ever type of signal I'm inputting - sine/square, 1kHz - 1MHz, Ch1 or
Ch2.

I've got a set of battered circuit diagrams & layout drawings so
should at least be able to follow up any ideas you experts might be able
to pass my way.

In the mean time many thanks for at least reading this posting
and Merry Xmas & Happy New Year to everyone fra' Auld Reekie
--
Dick
GM0MNL
At the moment I'm having a fight with my Dynatek. So I looked up this
section in the schematics. Triggering looks simple. The trigger signal is
enabled/disabled by the outputs of a flipflop (LS74 here) which is
set/cleared by the channel selector switch. Here the switch is floating to
select Channel 2. So a bad contact will select channel 2. It looks almost
too simple, but an attack with contact cleaner may cure your old friend.

Carel