I didn't take the free upgrade to general, so would this make me a cb'er
or no coder as the toad says?

Study the extra written test, bring your oldest license, and
(if you pass it) get your extra. Then you'd be the same
as me.

As for being a "real" ham, do one or more of the following:
Elmering, contesting, building equipment and experimenting,
public service, and such. And NOT QRMing, repeater kerchunking
excessively, ignoring accepted formal or informal band plans,
tuning up on top of other QSOs, bad language, and such.