The following parody of a BBC news interviewer appeared in today's San
Francisco Chronicle. I gotta chuckle out of it...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
By Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle columnist
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

One of my favorite daytime occupations is listening to the BBC News on
the radio. There's an hourlong broadcast at 2 p.m. on KALW, which is
precisely the time I tend to be dashing about picking up dry cleaning
and grandchildren and oven cleaner, so it's a perfect contrast.

Often the BBC World News hour features someone named Leeze Ducette,
whose name is probably not spelled like that, who conducts plausibly
live interviews with some of the world's more obscure yet interesting
leaders. The BBC style of interviewing is very different from the NPR
style; there's a lot less sucking up, and a lot more veiled
allegations under the thinnest veneer of civilized discourse.

I have constructed an entirely imaginary interview between a BBC
newsreader and a world leader, just to give you a flavor:

Newsreader: On the phone now is Dr. Salawi Awambi, the president of
the former Soviet Republic of Jiktawistan. Thank you for coming on the
program, Dr. Awambi.

Awambi: Yes, of course.

Newsreader: As your country faces its first democratic election in 170
years, some people are saying that the polling places are just not
equipped to handle the challenge.

Awambi: Yes, we have infrastructure challenges. We are a poor country.
But we are working very hard, very hard, and I guarantee you that
every vote will be counted and recounted.

Newsreader: So there's no truth to the allegation that thugs hired by
you are roaming the streets of provincial towns threatening
shopkeepers.

Awambi: Oh, now, you hear those things. We have all heard these
things. Of course, we must maintain law and order. The safety of our
poor nation is always at risk. But everyone is free to vote. Women are
free to vote for the first time.

Newsreader: Some people are saying that you have locked up 150
activist women for doing just what you are saying, for encouraging
women to vote.

Awambi: These are slanders. We have locked up perhaps 12 or 20 women.
We believe they were terrorists. In our poor country we have a great
problem with terrorists. Our recent and lamentable civil war ...

Newsreader: A civil war that installed you as dictator.

Awambi: Only until the elections.

Newsreader: Which have been postponed five times. Some people are
saying that you have accumulated a vast fortune by looting the state
treasure and that you have 105 limousines ...

Awambi: Merely 88, all of them used for ...

Newsreader: ... and a harem of 1,001 concubines and daily ferret
fighting in the town square. How would you answer those people,
President Awambi?

Awambi: There is much racism in your country. There is much feeling
against the ancient religion of Mombwi. I feel ...

Newsreader: Isn't it true, Dr. Awambi, that you created the so-called
ancient religion of Mombwi in 1997, and have used it funnel billions
of tax- free dollars to offshore bank ...

Awambi: Your nation persecuted Gandhi, in case you have forgotten.
Your nation stole the Suez Canal. Your nation failed to stop Hitler.
We do not need lectures from your nation.

Newsreader: Be that as it may, Dr. Awambi, some people are saying that
you strangled one hundred bunny rabbits with your bare hands. How do
you answer those people?

Awambi: The lapin, as you say, is a delicacy among my people. We are a
poor country; if we must eat the bunny, we will eat the bunny.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, there are charges that you wore a ball gown
and danced to recordings of the Benny Goodman Orchestra while members
of your family chanted "He is God, he is God, he will give us a
million more." How would you answer those people?

Awambi: We do not have the infrastructure. We are fighting terrorism.
Our nation is a poor nation.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, thank you for taking the time to speak with us
today.

Awambi: Oh, but thank you.

Newsreader: Perhaps we will speak again.

Awambi: I will constantly pray for your continued protection against
disfiguring dioxins.

Copyright ©2004 San Francisco Chronicle

Leigh Marrin/KM6JE wrote:

The following parody of a BBC news interviewer appeared in today's San
Francisco Chronicle. I gotta chuckle out of it...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
By Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle columnist
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

One of my favorite daytime occupations is listening to the BBC News on
the radio. There's an hourlong broadcast at 2 p.m. on KALW, which is
precisely the time I tend to be dashing about picking up dry cleaning
and grandchildren and oven cleaner, so it's a perfect contrast.

Often the BBC World News hour features someone named Leeze Ducette,
whose name is probably not spelled like that, who conducts plausibly
live interviews with some of the world's more obscure yet interesting
leaders. The BBC style of interviewing is very different from the NPR
style; there's a lot less sucking up, and a lot more veiled
allegations under the thinnest veneer of civilized discourse.

I have constructed an entirely imaginary interview between a BBC
newsreader and a world leader, just to give you a flavor:

Newsreader: On the phone now is Dr. Salawi Awambi, the president of
the former Soviet Republic of Jiktawistan. Thank you for coming on the
program, Dr. Awambi.

Awambi: Yes, of course.

Newsreader: As your country faces its first democratic election in 170
years, some people are saying that the polling places are just not
equipped to handle the challenge.

Awambi: Yes, we have infrastructure challenges. We are a poor country.
But we are working very hard, very hard, and I guarantee you that
every vote will be counted and recounted.

Newsreader: So there's no truth to the allegation that thugs hired by
you are roaming the streets of provincial towns threatening
shopkeepers.

Awambi: Oh, now, you hear those things. We have all heard these
things. Of course, we must maintain law and order. The safety of our
poor nation is always at risk. But everyone is free to vote. Women are
free to vote for the first time.

Newsreader: Some people are saying that you have locked up 150
activist women for doing just what you are saying, for encouraging
women to vote.

Awambi: These are slanders. We have locked up perhaps 12 or 20 women.
We believe they were terrorists. In our poor country we have a great
problem with terrorists. Our recent and lamentable civil war ...

Newsreader: A civil war that installed you as dictator.

Awambi: Only until the elections.

Newsreader: Which have been postponed five times. Some people are
saying that you have accumulated a vast fortune by looting the state
treasure and that you have 105 limousines ...

Awambi: Merely 88, all of them used for ...

Newsreader: ... and a harem of 1,001 concubines and daily ferret
fighting in the town square. How would you answer those people,
President Awambi?

Awambi: There is much racism in your country. There is much feeling
against the ancient religion of Mombwi. I feel ...

Newsreader: Isn't it true, Dr. Awambi, that you created the so-called
ancient religion of Mombwi in 1997, and have used it funnel billions
of tax- free dollars to offshore bank ...

Awambi: Your nation persecuted Gandhi, in case you have forgotten.
Your nation stole the Suez Canal. Your nation failed to stop Hitler.
We do not need lectures from your nation.

Newsreader: Be that as it may, Dr. Awambi, some people are saying that
you strangled one hundred bunny rabbits with your bare hands. How do
you answer those people?

Awambi: The lapin, as you say, is a delicacy among my people. We are a
poor country; if we must eat the bunny, we will eat the bunny.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, there are charges that you wore a ball gown
and danced to recordings of the Benny Goodman Orchestra while members
of your family chanted "He is God, he is God, he will give us a
million more." How would you answer those people?

Awambi: We do not have the infrastructure. We are fighting terrorism.
Our nation is a poor nation.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, thank you for taking the time to speak with us
today.

Awambi: Oh, but thank you.

Newsreader: Perhaps we will speak again.

Awambi: I will constantly pray for your continued protection against
disfiguring dioxins.

Copyright ©2004 San Francisco Chronicle

That's about the way it is!

LOL

dxAce
Michigan
USA

LM,
..
KALW FM Public Radio 91.7 MHz (1.9 kW ERP) is owned by the
San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSF) and is part
of their Office of Public Engagement and Information.
KALW = http://www.kalw.org/
..
AKA: People's Democratic Socialist Republic of San Francisco
{Ministry of Educational Propaganda}
http://www.fcc.gov/fcc-bin/fmq?call=KALW
http://www.publicradiofan.com/cgi-bi...stationid=3446
http://www.radio-locator.com/cgi-bin...=FM&service=FM
..
KALW Signal Coverage Map
http://www.radio-locator.com/cgi-bin...atus=L&hours=U
..
..
more than you wanted to know ~ RHF
..
..

You bad!

From: Leigh Marrin/KM6JE
Organization: RAIN (Regional Alliance for Information Networking)
Newsgroups: rec.radio.shortwave
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 07:36:05 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: BBC News Parody

The following parody of a BBC news interviewer appeared in today's San
Francisco Chronicle. I gotta chuckle out of it...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
By Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle columnist
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

One of my favorite daytime occupations is listening to the BBC News on
the radio. There's an hourlong broadcast at 2 p.m. on KALW, which is
precisely the time I tend to be dashing about picking up dry cleaning
and grandchildren and oven cleaner, so it's a perfect contrast.

Often the BBC World News hour features someone named Leeze Ducette,
whose name is probably not spelled like that, who conducts plausibly
live interviews with some of the world's more obscure yet interesting
leaders. The BBC style of interviewing is very different from the NPR
style; there's a lot less sucking up, and a lot more veiled
allegations under the thinnest veneer of civilized discourse.

I have constructed an entirely imaginary interview between a BBC
newsreader and a world leader, just to give you a flavor:

Newsreader: On the phone now is Dr. Salawi Awambi, the president of
the former Soviet Republic of Jiktawistan. Thank you for coming on the
program, Dr. Awambi.

Awambi: Yes, of course.

Newsreader: As your country faces its first democratic election in 170
years, some people are saying that the polling places are just not
equipped to handle the challenge.

Awambi: Yes, we have infrastructure challenges. We are a poor country.
But we are working very hard, very hard, and I guarantee you that
every vote will be counted and recounted.

Newsreader: So there's no truth to the allegation that thugs hired by
you are roaming the streets of provincial towns threatening
shopkeepers.

Awambi: Oh, now, you hear those things. We have all heard these
things. Of course, we must maintain law and order. The safety of our
poor nation is always at risk. But everyone is free to vote. Women are
free to vote for the first time.

Newsreader: Some people are saying that you have locked up 150
activist women for doing just what you are saying, for encouraging
women to vote.

Awambi: These are slanders. We have locked up perhaps 12 or 20 women.
We believe they were terrorists. In our poor country we have a great
problem with terrorists. Our recent and lamentable civil war ...

Newsreader: A civil war that installed you as dictator.

Awambi: Only until the elections.

Newsreader: Which have been postponed five times. Some people are
saying that you have accumulated a vast fortune by looting the state
treasure and that you have 105 limousines ...

Awambi: Merely 88, all of them used for ...

Newsreader: ... and a harem of 1,001 concubines and daily ferret
fighting in the town square. How would you answer those people,
President Awambi?

Awambi: There is much racism in your country. There is much feeling
against the ancient religion of Mombwi. I feel ...

Newsreader: Isn't it true, Dr. Awambi, that you created the so-called
ancient religion of Mombwi in 1997, and have used it funnel billions
of tax- free dollars to offshore bank ...

Awambi: Your nation persecuted Gandhi, in case you have forgotten.
Your nation stole the Suez Canal. Your nation failed to stop Hitler.
We do not need lectures from your nation.

Newsreader: Be that as it may, Dr. Awambi, some people are saying that
you strangled one hundred bunny rabbits with your bare hands. How do
you answer those people?

Awambi: The lapin, as you say, is a delicacy among my people. We are a
poor country; if we must eat the bunny, we will eat the bunny.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, there are charges that you wore a ball gown
and danced to recordings of the Benny Goodman Orchestra while members
of your family chanted "He is God, he is God, he will give us a
million more." How would you answer those people?

Awambi: We do not have the infrastructure. We are fighting terrorism.
Our nation is a poor nation.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, thank you for taking the time to speak with us
today.

Awambi: Oh, but thank you.

Newsreader: Perhaps we will speak again.

Awambi: I will constantly pray for your continued protection against
disfiguring dioxins.

Copyright ©2004 San Francisco Chronicle

On Wed, 22 Dec 2004 07:36:05 +0000 (UTC), Leigh Marrin/KM6JE
wrote:

The following parody of a BBC news interviewer appeared in today's San
Francisco Chronicle. I gotta chuckle out of it...
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, this time of year, especially, one can hear any number of
parodies of the Beeb and of BBC News on BBC itself, educated by the
Brit tradition of the "Christmas Pantomine" and, according to a story
on CBS "60 Minutes" some years ago well lubricated by champagne.

besides World Service try:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 (oldies)

I think that "unbiased journalism" is just a myth. Even with the BBC.


Leigh Marrin/KM6JE wrote:

The following parody of a BBC news interviewer appeared in today's San
Francisco Chronicle. I gotta chuckle out of it...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
By Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle columnist
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

One of my favorite daytime occupations is listening to the BBC News on
the radio. There's an hourlong broadcast at 2 p.m. on KALW, which is
precisely the time I tend to be dashing about picking up dry cleaning
and grandchildren and oven cleaner, so it's a perfect contrast.

Often the BBC World News hour features someone named Leeze Ducette,
whose name is probably not spelled like that, who conducts plausibly
live interviews with some of the world's more obscure yet interesting
leaders. The BBC style of interviewing is very different from the NPR
style; there's a lot less sucking up, and a lot more veiled
allegations under the thinnest veneer of civilized discourse.

I have constructed an entirely imaginary interview between a BBC
newsreader and a world leader, just to give you a flavor:

Newsreader: On the phone now is Dr. Salawi Awambi, the president of
the former Soviet Republic of Jiktawistan. Thank you for coming on the
program, Dr. Awambi.

Awambi: Yes, of course.

Newsreader: As your country faces its first democratic election in 170
years, some people are saying that the polling places are just not
equipped to handle the challenge.

Awambi: Yes, we have infrastructure challenges. We are a poor country.
But we are working very hard, very hard, and I guarantee you that
every vote will be counted and recounted.

Newsreader: So there's no truth to the allegation that thugs hired by
you are roaming the streets of provincial towns threatening
shopkeepers.

Awambi: Oh, now, you hear those things. We have all heard these
things. Of course, we must maintain law and order. The safety of our
poor nation is always at risk. But everyone is free to vote. Women are
free to vote for the first time.

Newsreader: Some people are saying that you have locked up 150
activist women for doing just what you are saying, for encouraging
women to vote.

Awambi: These are slanders. We have locked up perhaps 12 or 20 women.
We believe they were terrorists. In our poor country we have a great
problem with terrorists. Our recent and lamentable civil war ...

Newsreader: A civil war that installed you as dictator.

Awambi: Only until the elections.

Newsreader: Which have been postponed five times. Some people are
saying that you have accumulated a vast fortune by looting the state
treasure and that you have 105 limousines ...

Awambi: Merely 88, all of them used for ...

Newsreader: ... and a harem of 1,001 concubines and daily ferret
fighting in the town square. How would you answer those people,
President Awambi?

Awambi: There is much racism in your country. There is much feeling
against the ancient religion of Mombwi. I feel ...

Newsreader: Isn't it true, Dr. Awambi, that you created the so-called
ancient religion of Mombwi in 1997, and have used it funnel billions
of tax- free dollars to offshore bank ...

Awambi: Your nation persecuted Gandhi, in case you have forgotten.
Your nation stole the Suez Canal. Your nation failed to stop Hitler.
We do not need lectures from your nation.

Newsreader: Be that as it may, Dr. Awambi, some people are saying that
you strangled one hundred bunny rabbits with your bare hands. How do
you answer those people?

Awambi: The lapin, as you say, is a delicacy among my people. We are a
poor country; if we must eat the bunny, we will eat the bunny.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, there are charges that you wore a ball gown
and danced to recordings of the Benny Goodman Orchestra while members
of your family chanted "He is God, he is God, he will give us a
million more." How would you answer those people?

Awambi: We do not have the infrastructure. We are fighting terrorism.
Our nation is a poor nation.

Newsreader: Dr. Awambi, thank you for taking the time to speak with us
today.

Awambi: Oh, but thank you.

Newsreader: Perhaps we will speak again.

Awambi: I will constantly pray for your continued protection against
disfiguring dioxins.

Copyright ©2004 San Francisco Chronicle






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