Landover Baptist Book of Rules and Regulations | Chapter 83 | Holidays |
Section 4: April | Subsection R - Easter | Page 723-724 | Paragraphs 4
and 5:

The Easter Bunny: Banned Easter Symbol
From the Year of Our Lord 1923 - (Until Jesus Tells Us Different)

Paragraph 4 -

Of all the Pagan symbols created by Satan to steal the True Christian
History of religious holidays, none, save Santa Claus is more dangerous
than the Easter Bunny. Painted pagan eggs, Easter baskets, and yellow
marshmallow chickens don't hold a candle to this furry four legged demonic
spawn, forged in the fires of Hell by Lucifer himself, for the sole purpose
of distracting innocent little snow white children from the true meaning
behind Easter Sunday. As the former angel of light, the Devil is an expert
in trickery! This has been evident from 1923 to present time in modern
churches where so-called "Christians" display the Easter bunny or pictures
of bunnies in their Easter Sunday service programs. Sadly, many pastors
have been seduced by the Devil's seemingly innocent long eared, hopping
hellion. But do not be mistaken! Underneath that silky soft white coat of
hair lay the tight red skin and pulsing veins of a miniature demon. And
there are millions of them! Have you ever heard the term, "they breed like
rabbits?" Well, the Devil is laughing right at YOU! If you don't understand
that Satan's job is breeding minions and the bunny rabbit is the ultimate
symbol of minion breeding, then please close this book now and find another
place of worship, for you are not welcome here.

Paragraph 5 -

Since 1923, Church authorities have not permitted the presence of rabbits
on the Landover Baptist Church campus. Any family found possessing or
breeding rabbits will have the rabbits terminated and suffer public
humiliation. In addition, they will receive immediate counseling from a
Deacon or Pastor (fine accrual not to exceed $2,800). [AMENDMENT - 1957 -
Church members found to be watching television programs where rabbits are
depicted, including the popular pornographic cartoon, Bugs Bunny, where the
rabbit is made to appear human in nature (i.e.: walking on two hind legs)
and unclothed are subject to severe discipline at the Pastor's whim, and
fines not to exceed $4,300]. [AMENDMENT: 1962 - Pastor has reviewed the
popular film, Harvey, starring Christian actor, James Stewart, and deemed
the material inappropriate for Landover Baptist Church members (as are any
picture house films). See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages
305-450 for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines].
[AMENDMENT: 1974 - No church member is permitted to consume or digest the
product, "Trix." With the slogan, "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids! Satan
has revealed himself to the blind world of unsaved morons, but still they
refuse to believe! (See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages
305-450 for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines)].
[AMENDMENT - 1984 - Pastor has viewed the film, Roger Rabbit and has
instructed that no further edicts be made to this section - any and all
forms of rabbits in any form of media or reality are unacceptable until
Armageddon (See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages 305-450
for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines)].

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-- ps: If you ain't figured it out by now, 'Landover Baptist Church' is a
parody
of Fred Phelp's infamous Westover Baptist Church. Do a Google on
these and
you'll find them. Great holiday reading! Of course you can be
sure that
Elizabeth Border, Jakie Patru and their paranoid ilk will likely
take all the preceeding
rantings to be truth and eat up the same like flies to a freshly
laid cow-flop. Pathetic eh?

"news at 11" wrote in
groups.com:

Landover Baptist Book of Rules and Regulations | Chapter 83 | Holidays
| Section 4: April | Subsection R - Easter | Page 723-724 | Paragraphs
4 and 5:

The Easter Bunny: Banned Easter Symbol
From the Year of Our Lord 1923 - (Until Jesus Tells Us Different)

What is the source for the article that you posted?

Though it is fashionable to disparage Christian oddities, research
Judaism and it's beliefs. The following are just a very small selection
of items easily found by doing searches on Google, and are not meant
disparagingly. Every religion has peculiar rites, or rites that non-
Believers may find peculiar.

Fear of the Easter Bunny and of Christmas Trees distance me as well from
these forms of Christianity. Yet concerns about "Harry Potter" are not as
offensive to me, though we own the movie series. Being Catholic and
viewing online movie reviews from the Catholic perspective, they too
mentioned that they can see that the Harry Potter series may be an issue
for some, but the Catholic Reviews went on to extol the virtues of the
Harry Potter movies, seeing the loyalties among friends, the morality in
terms of the adults at least trying to do what is right and more.

Christians are Christian's own worst enemies. They sometimes remind me of
Guliver's Travels, where one group of islanders hates the other, since
one side opens their hard boiled egg on the small end, the other group,
the large end.

So comes the fear of Easter Bunny.

Dr. Artaud


"http://judaism.about.com/od/sexinjudaism/a/familypuritylaw.htm
Niddah refers to a woman who is ritually impure. She is considered
ritually impure while she is menstruating and for seven post-menstrual
days. According to the Family Purity Laws, as soon as possible after
nightfall of the seventh post-menstrual "clean" day, the woman must
immerse herself in a mikvah. After she has purified herself in the
mikvah, then she can resume sexual relations with her husband."

"A mikvah (also pronounced mikveh) is a ritual bath. The purpose of the
mikvah is solely ritual purification, not physical cleanliness. One must
thoroughly bathe before entering into and being purified by a mikvah.

This body of water must contain at least 480 liters of water that has not
been drawn or stored in a vessel (Lev: 11:36). Oceans, lakes, rivers,
ponds and springs are all natural catch basins of rainwater, and thus can
be used as mikvaot (plural for mikvah). Most mikvaot today, which exist
in cities, use 480 liters of undrawn water (channeled rainwater or melted
snow), and then add water pumped from a faucet to reach a depth
comfortable for immersion."


http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm
"Although the details of kashrut are extensive, the laws all derive from
a few fairly simple, straightforward rules:

Meat (the flesh of birds and mammals) cannot be eaten with dairy.
Fish, eggs, fruits, vegetables and grains can be eaten with either meat
or dairy. (According to some views, fish may not be eaten with meat).

Utensils that have come into contact with meat may not be used with
dairy, and vice versa. Utensils that have come into contact with non-
kosher food may not be used with kosher food. This applies only where the
contact occurred while the food was hot.

Grape products made by non-Jews may not be eaten."

Easter Bunny dude was hopping down the road,he sees a dudette Easter
Bunny,,, Wham Bam,Thank You mam! He goes hopping along again and he sees
another dudette Easter Bunny,Wham Bam,Thank You Mam! he keeps on hopping
down the road and he sees another dudette Easter Bunny,Wham Bam,oh
damn!!! it's one of them concrete yard ornament Easter Bunnies! Happy
Easter everybody.
cuhulin