Since both Clinton and the Bushes have had "body count lists" made up about
them, and since our next president probably will too, I thought it would be
fun to dig up some dirt on someone we all know. And so I give you the...

Brother Stair Body Count List

Fred Snurd
An active shortwave listener, was found dead of mysterious causes next to
his portable shortwave receiver tuned to a Brother Stair broadcast. Cause
of death was determined to have been from choking on his dentures after a
hysterical laughing fit.

Jim Fonebone
Follower of Brother Stair & regular poster to rec.radio.shortwave, was found
dead of an apparent suicide after failing to prove his point to anyone that
the Tiny Tenna is the best shortwave antenna ever designed. Ruled a
suicide.

Col. Sanders
Col. Harlan Sanders of KFC fame was a target of Brother Stair's jealousy
because while they both looked alike, Col. Sanders was far more popular &
people flocked to KFC in far greater numbers than they did to Brother Stair.
Sanders died mysteriously in 1980 of mysterious causes at the young age of
90.

Mac Macmacanacanacam
Former cell mate of Brother Stair who made Stair his bitch, found dead in
his home of an apparent autoerotic asphyxiation. Was found hanging with a
smile on his face and a splooge-covered picture of Brother Stair at his
feet. Ruled an accidental & very disgusting suicide.

John Manfranshenton
Self-proclaimed "Second-to-last-day prophet of God," was at odds with
Brother Stair over many predictions. Manfranshenton's most famous
prediction was that Jesus would return in the early 1980's as a new wave
musician, and often claimed that members of DEVO and A Flock of Seagulls
were really Jesus in disguise. Often declared "insane" in numerous court
documents, Manfranshenton disappeared for a while until it was found that he
had joined the Heaven's Gate cult and took part in the mass suicide in 1997.
His death was ruled a mass suicide.

Elvis Presley
The so-called "King of Rock" was the king of the devil's music which Brother
Stair deemed was evil. The King died mysteriously of a "heart attack" on
the toilet while straining at his stool. Much was made of an alleged drug
addiction but we all know the King was clean as a whistle.

Jesus Christ
Also known as the Messiah, was executed gangland style (for the time) in 33
AD by the Romans at the behest of the Jews, giving Brother Stair & others of
his ilk a cushy job for the rest of creation.

Ronald Reagan
Former president of the US, embarrassed Brother Stair after a false
prediction that he would leave office in disgrace in 1988. While not
officially dead, Reagan is suffering from Alzhiemer's & probably won't last
long. Brother Stair predicts that Reagan's death will be ruled a suicide.