The general category of boat anchors is met by something big and heavy
enough to literally be used as an anchor for a small boat.

The true determination is generally made by your spouse. If you can walk in
the front door with it, without your spouse asking "and what are you
planning to do with that?", it is not a boat anchor. Boat anchors are
brought in during the night or on long weekends.

My triumph in a lifetime of packratting was to bring home 14,000 tubes and
hide them in the basement and barn so that it was 3 weeks before my wife
realized there was more stuff there.

Acquiring boatanchors is an art form. Being on eBay helps. When you sell
something on eBay (preferably a small item that you do not need), let your
wife know that you have sold something. Say nothing when you acquire things
and at first you must sneak in the big stufft.

Remember, that you need to justify the existence of your giant ham shack and
storage. When the family tv goes out, this is an opportunity. Take it out
to the shop and tell your wife you are going to work on it. Then, early the
next morning, before she gets up, sneak out to the shop and get the tv and
put it in the trunk of your car. Later, take it to the tv shop to get
fixed. Make sure they have your cell phone to call you when it is ready.
Then pick it up and sneak it out to the shop. Later, in full view of your
wife, bring it into the house and proclaim that your knowledge and equipment
has fixed her tv.

The perfect boat anchor collector is Lamont Cranston (aka The Shadow), for
he can cloud the mind of spouses so that they cannot see all the piles and
piles of boatanchors. At times, I am convinced I have achieved that level,
but then my wife exclaims "how come more and more crap accumulates in all
the rooms?" But, by quickly changing the subject, the mind control works
again.

I cannot tell you all my secrets, but I can now get one or two boxes a week
without more than a mutter from my wife. It is based upon years of practice
and honing a fine art.

Colin K7FM

On Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:40:49 +0000, COLIN LAMB wrote:

The true determination is generally made by your spouse. If you can walk in
the front door with it, without your spouse asking "and what are you
planning to do with that?", it is not a boat anchor. Boat anchors are
brought in during the night or on long weekends.

That is CLASSIC! :-)

Cheers,

Gregg

How do you keep the spouse from not seeing the FedEx truck, that's my
problem..........

--
Regards,
Gary...WZ1M
"geek" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:40:49 +0000, COLIN LAMB wrote:

The true determination is generally made by your spouse. If you can
walk in
the front door with it, without your spouse asking "and what are you
planning to do with that?", it is not a boat anchor. Boat anchors are
brought in during the night or on long weekends.

That is CLASSIC! :-)

Cheers,

Gregg

Look up the FedEx Delivery time. Give the Spouse a gift certifiacte to the
mall (a just because gift), you and I both know she will be gone for hours.
Get a buddy to help haul in the BA. Conceal the BA in the basement, attic,
or wherever. When she finds it and she will, state your keeping it for Joe,
Sam whoever. Works every time. (;-)
CL

"gkb" wrote in message
...
How do you keep the spouse from not seeing the FedEx truck, that's my
problem..........

--
Regards,
Gary...WZ1M
"geek" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:40:49 +0000, COLIN LAMB wrote:

The true determination is generally made by your spouse. If you can
walk in
the front door with it, without your spouse asking "and what are you
planning to do with that?", it is not a boat anchor. Boat anchors are
brought in during the night or on long weekends.

That is CLASSIC! :-)

Cheers,

Gregg

"How do you keep the spouse from not seeing the FedEx truck, that's my
problem.........."

Well, if you work, you can have FedEX drop the package off at work (done
that). Then, hide the package in the covered pickup and bring it home and
wait until your spouse is asleep to cart it in.

At some point, after studying and perfecting The Shadows techniqe of mind
clouding, your spouse will not see the FedEx truck. In the end, my wife has
given up and simply makes comments on occasion to let me know that her mind
is not clouded.

The only problem I have is when my wife goes on a retreat for a weekend with
her girl friends. Her friends all tell her how they control their husband
and they do not tolerate anything lke she does. It is not intentional or
malicious that they do this, just they are using their husbands for their
personal welfare rather than mutual welfare. It sometimes takes 2 or 3
weeks before I have convinced my wife that indeed I am a better husband with
all of the junk than they are without. I have to convince her that the
other women indeed do not love their husband and indeed their husbands have
other faults which I do not have. Sometimes I sweat a bit for the first few
days as I have to come up with all of their faults and my qualities.

We have been married for 28 years and I do have a 150 foot tower with
numerous wire antennas going every which direction, so I have no complaints.

It does require constant vigil, though.

73, Colin K7FM

On Feb 1, 9:40 pm, "COLIN LAMB" wrote:

I cannot tell you all my secrets, but I can now get one or two boxes a week
without more than a mutter from my wife. It is based upon years of practice
and honing a fine art.

Some ideas I read about:

1) Bring purchase home in trunk of car. Under cover of darkness, move
purchase from car to basement window well. Open basement window and
bring purchase inside. (Only works with basement shacks near openable
windows)

2) Keep large trash can in basement. Make a big show of how much
useless stuff you are getting rid of each trash day. Bring purchase
home in trunk of car. Under cover of darkness, after trash day, while
retrieving empty can, put purchase into can and bring into basement.
(Only works with
basement shacks)

3) Mail parts and small purchases to yourself, with computer-made
official-looking labels from ham rig makers. Labels should say "FREE
SAMPLE" and "FOR EVALUATION BY (your call)". Helps to include official-
looking questionnaire and return envelope. (Only works with small
items in new condition)

4) Dismantle purchase at friend's house. Bring parts into house using
various methods listed above. Mix in with parts stock, which must be
big enough that additions are undetectable. Reassemble gradually so it
takes shape slowly and is not noticed. "And I built it myself from
parts I had on hand". (Works best with kits and homebrew that need
restoring anyway).

5) Sell 3 or 4 big things that you don't use and which are virtually
worthless, in order to buy one thing you really want. Helps to have
lots of useless big things around for such deals.

6) Deny, deny, deny. "That? I've always had that. Got it at the Podunk
Hollow hamfest in 1998. Cost over $700 new, I got a deal for less than
$50. You just never noticed it before."

7) Ham friend comes over, drops purchase off at your house. Says he's
moving, vacationing, having work done to his house, etc., and would
you hold onto the thing "for a while" so it won't get dirty, lost or
damaged? (Works best if ham friend does you, or better yet 'hon', a
bunch of non-ham-radio favors, so you owe him several favors back, and
can't refuse
him. Meanwhile you've done the same things for *him*, so he can do the
same deal.)

The following three can only be used once, so save them for that dream
purchase.

8) If you only have permission to buy one thing, but want two things,
have "radio store" (ham friend) send you both. Call "radio store" on
phone and complain about second item sent to you "by mistake". Spend a
lot of time on phone trying to convince them it's *their* mistake,
that you refuse to
pay for the item, it's not on your credit-card bill, etc. Finally have
"radio store" send you official-looking apology letter saying they're
sorry, they discovered the mistake, and you can just keep the second
item for free as a goodwill gesture from them. (Helps to practice one-
sided phone conversations by listening to old Bob Newhart routines).

9) Bring purchase into house when no one is home. Wrap up in
unlabeled, dusty, old, cardboard box. Hide in unusual place, away from
your ham gear - attic if shack is in basement, garage, etc. Bury it
under stuff that hasn't been disturbed in a long time, and won't be
normally moved.

After a suitable time has elapsed, get family to do "housecleaning".
Best if someone else discovers box. You act surprised, overjoyed,
cradle unit in your arms, tell family you thought it was lost years
ago and you thought it was gone forever, you'd never see it again,
etc. Long detailed
story of how you delivered papers for three years to save up for it
helps. (Only works with old items that you could have once owned).

10) Go to hamfest. Don't buy a thing (officially) - better yet, sell
a bunch of stuff. Leave early. That night, receive phone call from
excited ham friend telling you that you won the grand prize in the
doorprize/raffle. Pick up "grand prize" (your purchase) at his house -
which you dropped off there on the way home. (Only works with new
items. Mad scramble looking for raffle ticket stubs in car, clothing,
etc., with heroic rescue just before they go in the washing machine,
helps divert attention).

--

Not that I've actually *done* any of the above, mind you. Wouldn't
dream of it. Not me!

Just something I read somewhere - QST about 1970. Yeah, QST....that's
the ticket. Yup, QST.

73 de Jim, N2EY

No, really - there *was* such an article. I'm not making this up.
Honest. It was when QST was still in the small format. Had the raffle
ticket thing and all. You can look it up.

Would I lie?

Good work Jim. You exposed some of my secrets, but I got some new ones.

Colin K7FM

Sorry to hear of all the trials and tribulations you guys have,
sometimes. Things are a bit different, here. If I dwell too long on an
item at a hamfest or show a genuine interest in some radio gem in QST,
the XYL will go back and buy it. Well, truth told, she generally asks
first, but not always. My stuff comes through the front door in broad
daylight, unless its just too heavy. If that's the case, she'll help and
unlock the basement door.......... I had to use her SUV to get my T-368
home. No foolin'!!
de K3HVG

There is always someone who has it better - but we cannot dwell on that.

I thought I had it pretty good, but I go over to my neighbor's house one hot
summer day and he is in a lawn chair under a tree sipping on some lemonade.
His wife is at the bottom of a 5 foot hole at the end of a shovel, getting
it ready for pouring the concrete for his new tower. His son and his wife
had done all of the digging.

Another ham in England reported to me that his wife climbed a tall tree to
install the wire antenna and she does all the antenna work for him.

But, volunteering the SUV for a T-368 is pretty good, too - that is a ship
or fleet anchor.

73, Colin K7FM

In message k.net,
COLIN LAMB writes
Another ham in England reported to me that his wife climbed a tall tree to
install the wire antenna and she does all the antenna work for him.

Yes were are quite well looked after over here, my wife bought me a 60
foot tower as a birthday present and allows me two rooms and the attic
for the shack and store room!!!!!!!!!!
--
Bill
G8IAY